Balancing on the Edge of a Knife
by Fanfiction Love 2006
Summary: Bella has something to give Edward, but she sees something she wasnt ment to. What happens how? How will Bella deal with it? Can she save herself or will she need someone else to do it? Is it just too late? FINALLY COMPLETED!
1. Caught!

**Hey! I don't really know why I had to write this, but oh well. Here it is!**

**A/N: No, I'm not stopping my other works in progress, its just that I have this now too, not that I mind.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. I do own the plot though.**

* * *

Crying harder then she ever had before, Bella stomped on the gas pedal of her old Chevy truck, pushing it past eighty and yet she still couldn't escape the shadows of horror that lay behind her.

God, how could she have been so stupid!? She just _knew_ that it wasn't real. How could she fall for it? Especially after the first initial pain?

Bella sobbed all the more when the whole in her chest bleed. It had opened again. No. No, it had ripped open. But how couldn't it have?

After what she had saw-

"No! I can't think of it." She choked out through her tears. "I won't."

But she couldn't stop it as it flew through her mind. She pushed her already protesting truck even faster. She had to get away. To get away from it all. To get away from the pain. The pain that used every thing that had happened only ten minutes ago to make her break more, if that was even possible.

Only ten minutes...yet her whole world had come crashing down, like a world of glass smashing to pieces in a second's notice. What had made her glass world break?

She was forced back to relive it again.

* * *

_Bella got out of her truck which she had deliberately parked about two miles away from the Cullen home. She didn't want Edward hearing her truck and have the surprise ruined. She had found something in the window of Mrs. Peterson's shop and immediately thought of Edward._

_It was a glass piano, about twelve inches long and four inches high. The small thing had cleaned her out in the spending department and then some, but it was worth it. Anything for Edward. The best part was that it played a sweet tune when you opened the lid. It was an amazing song, only played by a piano. The beat itself was slow and cooing-like._

_And just like the heart on her bracelet, it reminded her of Edward. Sweet and cold. She laughed mutedly. She considered it pay back for the gift he had given her; the bracelet and the ...ring._

_It wasn't like she didn't want to marry Edward. She loved him more that her own life and would happily die for him. It's just that...well, when your brought up to hate anything remotely close to a white dress, a diamond ring, or a large group of family members wishing you congratulations, you tend to shy away from... well... weddings! But... It was Edward. That was always reason enough._

_Why does the sun rise?_

_Edward._

_Why do you live?_

_Edward._

_Why does the world go round?_

_Duh. Edward._

_Bella smiled as she CAREFULLY pulled out the- not double, not triple, but quadruple wrapped bundle._

_Hey! It __**was**__ Bella Swan we're talking about here. She didn't want to take any chances with it breaking. And with the treacherous walk ahead of her, she knew she would be glad for it later._

_The reason she had parked so far was because, even though Edward would have heard her car, it would have been mixed up with all the cars from the freeway not far behind her, and she was sure he would never know._

_He had already dropped her off for the day because he had had to go hunting, but she was willing to bet that he was home now. Smiling in anticipation, she slowly closed the door and held the object close to her chest._

_'I hope he likes it.'_

_:Of course he'll like it! He likes anything from you.: Said a voice in her head._

_The voice no longer sounded like Edward, but it was still there from when he had left. It was a weird twist of things, but she just shrugged it off. She was never like everyone else anyway, no need to worry about it. Besides, it wasn't like it was hurting her. Its was just... well... it just WAS._

_:You got that right!:_

_Bella began her treed through the jungle slowly, patiently. And of course, she tripped. Again. And again. And again._

_It did take a little longer then she had hoped, but then, if he had heard her truck, his suspicion of it being her would have been gone by now, so that was good._

_As she grew closer to his house- or mansion, depending on your point of view- she heard the distinct sound of music from far away. Yep. Edward was home._

_As she drew closer, and the music got louder, she saw Alice's car in the garage along with Edward's. But no one else's was there._

_'I hope she won't try to get me to go shopping...' Bella gulped. 'She'll probably pull the whole, "I'm your best friend, can't you at least go shopping with me?" It works every time'_

_:And that's why she uses it.:_

_Instead of using the front door, she walked around to the back._

_The music grew louder, making her realize that the music was emanating from the living room. She would see him if she looked right into the glass._

_She tried not to giggle, keeping as silent as a mouse._

_:Wow, you're really giddy. You don't normally act like this.:_

_'Well, its my first present to Edward, and he doesn't even know it's coming.'_

_:Unless Alice told him.:_

_'I don't think she would have told him.'_

_:She doesn't have to.:_

_'Oh yeah...'_

_Shaking her head for forgetting, she reached the corner of the outer house and peaked around it to see._

_Her body froze, brain shutting down, completely leaving her defenseless at the sight._

_Inside, on top of the very piano that he had played her lullaby, was Edward and Alice, naked and intertwined. Their limbs were lost together and she couldn't see where one ended and the other began._

_Bella's limbs went slack and the very precious gift that had laid so close to her heart dropped to the ground without so much as a glance. It broke in half, splintering and the player popped out. Some of the song played out, but began to slow and drawl. Finally it finished, completely useless._

_They didn't hear it. The music was much to loud and their own voices were taking up each others hearing._

_But she wasn't so lucky. Because they were so unaware, they were as loud and as free with their words or exclamations that she could here them over the music and threw the glass._

_--_

_"Oh! Edward! Harder, harder! Please!"_

_And he complied with her wishes, pushing in even harder, colliding their hips together with such a force that any one else would have broke._

_"Oh, yessss! God yes! Edward!"_

_"Alice, god! God, I love you!"_

_--_

_Bella gasped. even if all this had happened she could have lived with it. But after hearing Edward say that, there was no hope at all._

_An all to familiar pain found it's way into her chest, tearing it's way to her heart._

_She gripped at her chest with a force, almost as if she could hold her own heart. God. It felt so horrible. This was nothing like the pain before. It was worse. So much worse._

_The tears had already been running down her face by the time she had even though to cry. She turned on her heel and took off at her fastest speed, begging the trees and roots and rocks that if they would just this once move out of her path, she would be eternally grateful. Surprisingly, she made her way to her beat up truck with out any trips or fumbles._

_She reached the door and wrenched it open, throwing herself into the drivers seat and shoved the key into the ignition. She took off at full speed threw the woods surrounding his home and onto the highway. She didn't care that she couldn't see anything past her watery eyes, or that she might hurt someone else. She didn't even care if she died. She just needed to get away from him. Her. __**Them**__._

* * *

Finally reaching her destination, Bella put both feet on the break and screeched to a halt. Not even bothering to shut off the engine, she jumped out of the car and ran towards the door.

Charlie was no where in sight, which was definitely for the better, she was sure of it.

Grabbing the hidden key, she fumbled with the lock for a little bit before finally getting it undone. She threw open the door and ran in, forgetting to close it. Not that it mattered. Nothing matter. Nothing but the pain.

She sprinted to the kitchen and looked around frantically. The pain was growing so bad so fast that she felt about ready to tear her hair out.

Ripping open the cupboards, she threw things in every direction, searching, searching.

Searching for what? She didn't know. Not until she found it.

And when she did, she definitely knew.

Grabbing the carving knife from its resting place on the counter, she turned to look at her wrists. they were so pale, so... vulnerable.

Half crazy, she ripped off the bracelet Edward had given her.

"I was right. It was to good to be true. And the only thing truly bad about it is that I was telling the truth when I said that I couldn't live with out you..." Bella rambled on, looking at her wrist in sick amusement and dread.

She ignored the voice in her head that kept saying that this was not the way. There is always something better. But as the pain rippled through her again, she knew that to be a lie.

Bringing the blade against her skin, she gently pushed it into her, then deeper as she felt blood began to spill. Her head grew light as the smell swamped her, but yet, she still switched the blade from her right hand into her injured left, cutting it, exactly like its opposite.

Feeling weak from the blood and strength leaving her, she fell to the ground against the side of the counter, blood following in her wake. The blade dropped from her hands, having no hold.

Everything grew darker, and the sounds grew dimmer.

the last thing she heard before she blacked out was someone running into the house, then the kitchen. the must have stopped short and then yelled something. But all she could get was, "Jak...get your a...re! Bella! Bell... wha... pened!? ...lla! Cal.. Car...ow! Bella! Can...ear me!? Don't g..."

Then everything was black.

* * *

**...I have been crazy lately. So, please forgive me.**

**Anyway, how'd you like it??**

**Please let me know. Thanks!**


	2. I want to die!

**Here's Chapter two. Edited.**

**I don't own, so don't ask.**

* * *

Bella slowly became aware of her surroundings.

The first thing that registered in her mind was the heaviness of her body. And the unbelievable soreness of it. It felt like she got hit by a truck. Her old Chevy to be exact.

The next that registered in her mind was the smell. She had grown to know that smell because of the frequency of it in the past few months. And even thought it still made her uneasy, she had grown accustomed to it.

Mentally groaning she placed it.

Hospital.

It was only then that she even remembered why she was there in the first place. And why she didn't want to be and even more so, shouldn't be.

Becoming more aware of her body she felt an odd yet slightly familiar itch. Both her arms were wrapped in cloth, each covering the recently opened wounds.

But even more attention grabbing was the realization that her arms were immobile, pinned to her side by restraints.

Weakly, she pulled back the lids of her eyes and saw the last thing she wanted.

Edward was sitting at the end of her bed, watching her through troubled eyes. When he saw her eyes open he looked a bit relieved and sighed.

"Thank god." Looking directly at her, he said, "Bella, are you alright? What happened? Why in the world would you do something like that!? Do you know how much you have hurt me!? Hurt you!? You could have died!"

_'That's what I was hoping...'_

"Bella, love? What's wrong?" He took a step closer towards her and when she didn't do anything he took another. What scared him was that she didn't even react. The only thing that happened were her eyes when they moved to follow every move of his.

When he stood at the edge of the hospital bed he reached out to her and was shocked when see jerked away then hissed in pain, for it made the restraints pull hard against her skin. His eyes were unrealistically wide.

"B-Bella?" He asked, shocked and a bit scared by her rejection.

She didn't speak, but stayed where she was, trying to get as much distance between them as possible, glaring at the hand that dare to try and touch her.

When he finally pulled his hand away she slowly laid back down still watching him.

"What's wrong Bella? Why...why wont you let me touch you..." When he didn't receive an answer he asked in a panicked voice, "Why wont you talk to me!?" Again, his voice was met by silence. Edward froze as he was, watching her. They stayed that way for a while, neither really moving. It was only until Carlisle stepped into the room that he moved.

When the doctor spoke it was in a calm and soothing tone, reserved to two kinds of people. People who were his patients and people who he really needed to be calm. "Bella, it's nice to see that your awake. You have been heavily sedated for the past two days now-" He was cut off by Bella's questioning look.

"Ah, yes, well when you were first brought here, you were unconscious. We made to stitch up you cuts but you freaked. When you didn't respond to me or your father I realized you were still unconscious and subconsciously trying to get away. You tried to stop us from stopping the bleeding and even tried to attack some of the doctors and people in the room. You had to be restrained by a security guard, who by the way should be waking up from surgery in a few hours, and then, by these here." He gestured by the plastic restraints that lay on her legs and arms.

Bella looked horrified and when Carlisle saw this he knew she wanted to know who and how they were hurt. "Currently there are two nurses in a coma- you smashed their heads into one of the near by machines-, a doctor who is now blind in one eye- you grabbed the knife he had to cut the stitches once we finished and stabbed him in the left eye-, the security guard, and Charlie is getting stitches for the five nail marks across each cheek. You got me too, but as you know, there was no damage."

The patient stared wide eyes at the doctor in disbelief. She had wanted to die undisturbed, yes, but to actually hurt others who got in her way? That was not like her. Even if it was unconsciously done.

Edward spoke then and said, "She wont speak Carlisle. And she wont let me touch there something wrong with her brain?" The look on his face said that he actually believed what he was asking.

"No. The only damage done to her was her wrists. The only thing that could be wrong with her is something mental. And that would be the same thing that had driven her to try and kill herself in the first place." He turned to her and questioned, "What happened, Bella?"

She didn't say a thing but stared at him.

"Wont you tell me? Wont you tell Edward? What ever it is Bella, we can fix it."

Her stare turned into a glare and then she directed said glare to Edward.

"It has something to do with Edward?" Carlisle thought it obvious that she wasn't going to answer and so he would have to figure it out.

She nodded slightly.

"And you wont tell us?"

She hesitated then nodded but then shook her head.

"You will tell us, but you don't want to."

Another nod.

"Why not?"

Bella gestured with her hand-or as best she could- in a wide sweep of the room.

"There are no people here."

She nodded.

"You want others to know?"

She nodded but then shook her head.

"Yes, but only certain people."

She nodded.

"Who?"

Putting a hand over her heart, she stared at Carlisle.

"Your heart...your love...the ones you love... your family?"

Slowly she nodded once.

"Okay, I'll get Charlie here..." But he stopped when she violently shook her head. "But you want your family." He was confused now.

She looked at him as if he knew English or was just plain stupid. "Oh!" Then he laughed loud and happily. "You mean the rest of the Cullens."

She nodded.

"Alright. I'm sure that there all there. I'll call them and get them here before visiting hours are over." As he turned to leave the room, in stepped Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme.

Alice said, "Honestly Carlisle, did you forget that I would see if she wanted us here or not?"

The whole of her family surrounded her bed and gave confused and worry filled smiles.

"What is it you wanted to say Bella?" Esme asked.

Said girl took a few moments to think of exactly that. when she thought she had it all figured out she spoke.

"You should have let me die." There was a gasp from her peers and the loudest one was from Edward who tried to touch her again, only to stop when he jerked away once more. "Stay the fuck away from me Edward. Don't you **dare** touch me!"

Edward's eyes were wide and as he stuttered trying to find words to say to her, she turned back to her family and friends who were more then shocked at her outburst and words and said, "I don't know if any of you knew about this and were keeping it from me or were just as ignorant about this as I was, but there was something going on behind my back." When she looked back at Edward, he was looking back at her in total puzzlement, completely unaware of what she knew.

How Alice hadn't figured it out now was beyond her, but she figured it was for the best. "Edward was..." She refused to be taken hostage by the pain that rose with the memory of that night and continued, "He...Edward is cheating on me."

As she said this, she was watching for Edward's reaction. She saw the exact moment when reality came crashing down on him and he realized that she knew.

There were mixed up emotions in his eyes, to many to really recognize, so she memorized them, to figure them out later. He was about to say something the same time as there were collective intakes of breaths around the room. She looked at Edward for a moment more, letting him see what she knew and when he saw what she was planning to do, he was to late to stop her because it was already out of her mouth.

"With Alice."

No one could believe it. Alice? Their Alice was sleeping with Edward? What about Jasper and Bella?

Jasper's Eyes were wide with shock and hurt as her turned to look at Alice.

Alice was staring strait at Bella with looks of hurt, sadness, love, friendship, and more.

Edward was just watching Bella, the same intense look in his eyes.

The only reason that they believed it was the look of complete truth and pain her bother Bella's voice and eyes.

But she wasn't finished. No. She had one last thing to say. "And I was telling the truth when I said that you should have let me die. I want to die. I...I can't live with this pain." Her voice was a broken whisper.

The room was abruptly filled with silence for a long while before Carlisle spoke. "I'm sorry Bella. We cannot have that."

Her head snapped to his and she yelled, "Why not!?"

"Not only are we your family- we love you dearly and can't let you die- but we just **can't**. Your not of your free will to decide this and we can't help you even if we would. You're... Bella, you were signed into the custody of the state."

She looked at him as if he had six heads. "What does that mean? What do you mean? What about Charlie? What does that have to do with anything?"

Carlisle took one long look her before saying, "You're going to be put in an institution for the mentally unstable for the rest of your life."

Bella narrowed her eyes at him -refusing to even acknowledge the tears that were fighting to fall. She wouldn't let them- and didn't say a thing.

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**Hope you liked it.**

**Sayonara!**


	3. White, the captivating color

**Hey everyone! Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight of its characters. But I DO own the plot! -smiles evilishly-**

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Bella had become very use to the color white. It was a very plane color, yes, but it had a certain...charm about it. It was pure and held no secrets. It made her wonder if there ever really were any secrets in life, or if they were all known by some one making them such a non secret.

Said girl sat on worn matrice that was covered in the same color white sheets with her back up against a well cushioned wall. The so called bed lay in the farthest most corner of the white squared room that had no windows, which just happened to be the corner farthest from the white steel door. Locked from the outside by more then a pad lock, of course. Couldn't take any chances now could they?

Bella's knees were held tightly against her chest by her arms which were securely locked around them. There was no way in hell she would let down her guard. No fucking way. Not with big muscled men waiting just outside her room to get her alone.

No, they hadn't done anything to her yet, but she didn't trust it. They always walked her everywhere and watched her all the time. They were waiting for the right time to strike, she was sure of it.

So maybe Bella Swan had gotten a **little **paranoid during her stay here. I mean, the men_ could _have just been doing their job, but who was to say there wouldn't hurt her if they got a chance?

And she was certainly not going to give them an inch.

Maybe the walls did hold secrets. Maybe behind every wall there was a man hurting a girl, or just someone weaker. Yes, that made sense. It made all the sense in the world to Bella. They were all trying to get at her. But surely the walls in all their white glory would show evidence of harsh play, would they not, in all their innocence?

And there again was where said girl lost herself in the contemplation of the color white again.

Maybe saying that the color white dominated her life was a bit of an understatement. she lived it and -she was sure- she lived it.

A beautiful girl with stunning brown eyes and slightly tousled hair looked ahead of her, eyes fixed on the wall opposite her, not wavering for e a second.  
Not even when her line of sight was blocked by something black.

Even though she did her best to hide it on the out side, she internally flinched. Something that was not white was bad.

White is warm.

Non-white is cold.

White is safe.

Non-white is not.

White is beautiful and innocent.

Non-white held lies and impurity.

Everything that is non-white wrong and dangerous. Non-white was bad.

"Bella are you even listening to me?" Asked and annoyed voice.

As if it would receive an answer.

Jessica sighed. "You know, we all miss you at school. Mike especially. Our table is so...different now. And even though it is full of people, it is empty. I know you could get out of here Bella. You can do almost anything. If you can get Edward Cullen, you can get anything." Said her 'Friend' with a slight undertone of bitterness.

Unnoticeably, Bella's hands tightened their grip on her knees. She didn't talk about Edward. She didn't talk at all. She didn't want to hear about Edward. She wanted to be left alone. Didn't people get the hint? She wanted to die. Why? To be free of this world and its pains and it's lies, it's impurities...it's blackness. But no, they wouldn't let her have it. the only thing she truly wanted now, and they denied her it. Edward especially. And she did **not** want to hear about him least of all.

"Bella, we all know you don't belong in here. You belong out there, in the real world with your friends. We miss you so much."

Bella would have snorted if she had been inclined to, but no, she didn't do those kinds of things anymore. She didn't do anything anymore. She was the living dead, so to speak. A lifeless zombie, forced to walk and live against her wishes.

"I heard that the Cullens visit you along with Mike, Jake, your dad, and Angela and that you don't respond to any of them either." She looked curiously down at her friend for any sign that she was even listening. None.

"Come _**on**_ Bella! You've been in here for months! Months! You missed your own nineteenth birthday! You can't stay in here forever." Jessica yelled in frustration.

Oh if only she knew.

"What happened to you? You've changed so much. And for the worst. No wonder Alice and Edward never come and visit you."

Bella's mouth pressed firmly together and her eyes hardened. She Did. Not. Want. To. Talk. About. Edward. Fucking. Cullen. If Jessica said one more thing about him or Alice, she would sorry.

"They must be so upset. Them being your closest friends. They are real close these day, never leaving each other's side, you know. They must be trying to comfort each other-"

Bella was out of her position in the blink of an eye, not tripping or anything similar to ungraceful- I guess you could say one becomes more aware of themselves when they try and almost succeed in killing themselves- and was on Jessica before she had even noticed she had moved.

Oh yes, she had gone too far.

Bella grabbed her by the throat and had her pinned against the wall before the men watching the visit could even move.

She back handed Jessica once across the face. Twice. Three times, all along trying to squeeze the life out of her body.

Bella slammed her head against the wall of door hard -knowing it was the best place, I mean, you would have to stop and think of a way to open the door before you would and enter the room without hurting the civilian on the other side of it- before pulling back her fist and punching her 'friend' in the face, causing her head to be forced back, hitting the metal even harder. The girl grew limp and Bella realized that she must have passed out.

With out a thought to the action, she dropped the body and walked slowly- lifelessly, emotionlessly- back to her spot on the bed, staring strait ahead, looking at nothing in particular.

The men, seeming to find that there was no other way in then the door, they accidentally hit the unconscious body slightly as they came in. Looking from the body to the mental patient, there was nothing they could really do. The girl was unconscious and their patient was as calm as ever, giving no fight, so obviously didn't need to be drugged anymore.

Cursing, they picked up the body and dragged it through the door before slamming it shut and bolting it closed, already deciding that there were to be no more visitors for a while.

In another part of the state of Washington two vampires argued for the umpteenth time about the same topic.

"No, Carlisle. What part of that won't you understand?" Asked a frustrated male.

"Jasper, you know you should visit her. Bella needs all our help." The older man replied.

"Then send Edward. Or Alice! They haven't done shit around here anyway besides cause damage. Maybe they should try and fix it!" Snapped the younger male, who was taller and had a stronger build about him.

Said man was tall, about six foot two, and was quite muscular. He had scars all over his body that weren't that noticeable, but if you were close enough and in the right light, you would have been able to see the outline of the numerous scars that decorated his body.

"You know why they can't do that Jasper. We don't know what it will do to her! She tried to kill herself once, what's to say that she won't try again. And she hasn't spoken in seven months! She might withdraw even more at the sight of either of them. They can't go"

"And I should!? I'm in the same boat as her, it just so happens that I didn't try to kill myself."

"That's my point! You would be the one person who she could relate to in some way. Its important to-" But the man was interrupted by a buzzing of his phone. Sighing, he flipped it open.

"Yes?...This is Carlisle...Yes, I am aware of that...What!? What happened?" By now the whole house was in the living room with the two of them, listening intently to the one sided conversation. "When did this occur?...What triggered it?...Ah, I see...Yes, that would be best, but be aware that I might have someone come and inspect it all...Yes...Yes, thank you...You too, good bye." Carlisle clicked the phone and flipped it closed with a snap.

Edward was looking intently at his 'father', waiting for some explanation.

The man sighed and looked over his family, purposefully avoiding Edward and Alice. "Bella had a breakdown." Edward's eyes widened. "She attacked Jessica, but refused to speak. She went back to her normal behavior after she knocked her unconscious as if it never happened."

"What triggered it, love?" Asked Esme.

"Edward. Apparently Jessica had brought you up a few times, and she snapped. Bella choked her and did a lot of damage. She is currently in the hospital and undergoing an MRI for her head. She may need surgery if any pieces of her skull were fractured." He looked back to Jasper. "Please Jasper. She needs us. She needs you. She's your sister."

"I've never thought of her as a sister." He replied with little emotion.

That's when Edward snapped. "How can you say that?! She is as much a part of this family as any of us! She's a part of us! How can you do this, sit around and hurt her by not helping!"

Jasper let out a load laugh, it was harsh and full of hate. "Look who's talking! You're the one who put her there in the first place! You and your sick fucking relationship with a slut of a girlfriend!"

Edward was shocked. His mouth snapped shut with an audible click and he just glared, not being able to say anything as it was the truth.

He sighed and looked at Carlisle. "Fine. I'll go. But when nothing happens, I'm leaving. Got it?"

Carlisle smiled, proud of Jasper in a way he could never be of Edward again after what he did and caused. "That's all I ask." Is all he said.

With a huff, Jasper stormed out, heading into the forest to hunt.

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**Hey how'd you like it!? Good bad? TELL ME! I crave your reviews!**

**Sesshomaru: Seriously, she does.... It's kinda creepy actually... -Twitches-**

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	4. White, the ugliest color

**Hey!!!! It's me again! Sorry for the wait guys, things you know. But it's not nearly as long as some of the other waits. I actually have this story outlined, which means I don't have to think THAT much about what I'm writing for each chapter. :P**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Sadly I am only smart AFTER a great book was written. T.T**

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Ugh. If there was one thing that Jasper hated more then new borns, and more then werewolves, and even more then a slut of an ex-wife and betraying bastard of a brother it was the color white.

The color white was freaky, ugly and sickly. It was...White.

He shuddered and smelt some of the things around him. There was that new smell that they kept in the ward all the time, the multiple pills, the smell of crud, dust, cleaning products and worse, the smell of highly priced leather. He gagged knowing it was what all the padded walls and jackets were made of.

Walking down a very long-very white- hall full of doors-white doors- that had small windows that gave him small glimpses of the people clad in white, loose, thin cloths in their white rooms, he read off the numbers above each door.

33, 32, 31...

Mentally preparing himself for what was to come, he grit his teeth.

27, 26...

He really did not want to be here.

22, 21...

God, did it have to take this long? Was the hall actually this big? Was it growing? He fidgeted a bit. Man, if a vampire gets a little weirded out here, how was a human suppose to cope?

20...

Were the walls getting smaller? Were they closing in on him!? If you don't need breath, can it get shorter? Can a vampire even get Closter-phobic?

19.

There the blond vampire stopped. Looking down at the paperwork in his hand, he read what is said.

_

* * *

_

Name: Swan, Bella

_Doctor: Primary Doctor- C. Cullen; Specialists: S. Meyer and J. Henry_

_Room: 19_

_Age: 19_

_Birthday: September 13, 1989_

_Admitted: April 26, 2008_

_Reasons: Complete mental collapse, attempted suicide, and attempted homicide (though unconsciously)_

_Notes:_

_Dangerous, paranoid, aggressive  
Possible triggers*: People on the outside, Friends and family, and a boy named Edward(???)  
Won't talk and hasn't since the day of admittance  
Refuses to eat- must be forced, sedated __**first  
**__Has been heavily sedated 13 times for violence restraint  
Does not let others to close- more then six feet, Violence will result  
Shuts down completely when in sessions- unreadable and unresponsive  
Must be forced to leave room  
Recently restrained in jacket- only needed once for six hours  
Will fight more difficultly from any of the restraints**  
Stays in room- barely moving from observations  
Will read books if given***, though:  
Will ignore any person present- Will act if person gets to close  
Will not read when certain people are around_

_Seems very intelligent and polite otherwise._

_*Do not bring up, was being worked with Specialist Meyer and Specialist Henry but is now on hold. Both currently in hospital recuperating.  
**Sedated, jacket, limb restrains, etc.  
***Do not attempt to take them away- causes violent outbreak, Last one two months ago. Three patients still recovering along with several medical assistants._

* * *

This door particularly didn't have a window. Unlike the others that were open and were able to be accessed by almost everyone even other patients who were free to roam about, this one was bolted on the outside, accompanied by many other locks that required certain keys.

Well, at least there weren't codes required.

Looking up, Jasper saw that there were two cameras on and ever watchful of the door and all that come near it. _'Oh yes, because we all know a human- a very uncoordinated human who trips over her own two feet and can't even lift more then fifty pounds- could break down this door __from the inside__**and **__take out the cameras unseen to escape. Yep.'_ Jasper snorted unnoticeably. Man, were humans stupid.

Looking again at the door's number he hesitated. Could this really be Bella's door? It was more a prison then a mental institute.

Jasper handed the papers to the guard outside the door who held the keys. The man looked it over once, nodded and handed them back to him before he faced the door and unlocked the doors many locks one at a time, each individual one causing a loud sound every time it was snapped open. The sounds reverberated up and down the hall, off the walls. It seemed as if it was a warning to all those that this door was being opened.

The question that presented itself to Jasper was, exactly who was it warning?

It took at least two whole minutes to unlock all the locks on the door before all that was left was the large and rusted bolt that held the whole thing closed. Before the man turned the abnormally large key he looked over his shoulder to the vampire.

"You might want to watch yourself with this one. You might be one of the highest recommended to see her and one of Carlisle's own apprentices, but she is way out of anyone's hands. No one can fight off this one. She's a little demon."

"I'm sure I'll be just fine." Came the reply from the blond. Jasper smirked slightly and the man didn't understand why.

He shrugged it off and said, "Don't say I didn't warn you," as he unbolted the hunk of metal and pulled aside the lock. "It's your funeral," he muttered and he stepped aside to let the professional in before looking it all again once he was across the threshold.

* * *

What Jasper saw shocked him more then he would ever admit.

There on the floor beside the cot they seemed to call a bed, sat a girl in a curled up position facing one of the many blank white walls, staring blankly ahead.

"Bella?"

No response. Or at least, not one that humans would have been able to see. His supernatural eyes caught the very slight movement of that very same girl as she stiffened.

"Bella, is that really you?"

She didn't move, but he noticed that her heart rate picked up speed when he had stepped into the room. 'So at least she knows its me...Or does she? Maybe she's like that with everyone...'

"It's me, Jasper."

Still nothing. He knew there was a chance she would be like this from what her file said, but he was still a little weary. Especially with her blood beating faster through her veins. It just smelt SO good. He didn't care what Edward said, it didn't smell like flowers. It smelt like... an aphrodisiac, the purest and best, straight from Egypt itself.

He let out a shaky breath silently before he let his empty lungs adjust to it and relaxed when he no longer had to take in mouths of it. He had mastered talking without air years ago, and was really glad to have that skill now more then ever.

But before he spoke, he decided to feel out exactly what was wrong and what to expect.

No, what he got then was more then anything he had ever expected. It surprised, shocked and- dare we say- scared him so much that he took in a deep gasp of air.

He....he couldn't feel Bella's emotions! How?! And being that the shock had affected him so much, he said exactly that.

"H-how..." How come he couldn't feel her emotions? That was impossible!

He didn't know what made now be the time for anything to happen, but just as the word was out of his mouth, Bella's eyes moved from the wall to stare right at him, not moving anything else. Her eyes were dead, yet alive in their own beauty and strength that they had once not possessed.

"B-Bella...?"

What he heard next was not the small buzzing of the cameras outside, not the steps of doctors and patients outside the door, not the conversations of the people up and down the hall, definitely not the delicious pulse not ten feet away from him that oh so pulled at him. No.

What he heard was a small yet powerful, vulnerable yet stronger then life, soft, secretive voice that could only ever be heard by one his kind, for it was so low. And it said, "How are you copping?"

* * *

**Yes, I know that it's not long, but it made an impact I think or I wouldn't have ended it there.**

**How'd you all like it? No, yes? None, a lot? TELL ME! :P**

**Orochimaru: STOP YELLING AT PEOPLE! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU GET THEM TO DO WHAT YOU WANT!!!**

**.... Yet you yell at me.**

**Orochimaru: And it worked didn't it?**

**..... -ignores the fact that he just disagreed with himself- Hey! Do that tongue thing!**

**Orochimaru: -stares at- ... Freak.**

** Jerk.**


	5. A friend?

**Hey guys! Well, here's my update. This story is still second on my list to update, but you guys are real close to being first. Keep it up!**

**A/N: Okay, I know ALL of you **_**had** _**to have seen the movie by now! I did. But more importantly, you all HAD to have seen who hot Jasper and James looked, -drool- Though he always looked like he was in pain (like he ate something sour) he was still hot!!!!!**

**Disclaimer:............I WANT to own Twilight, but alas, it is a cruel, CRUEL world.**

* * *

Jasper was shocked into silence. Did...did she just......_talk_!? He remembered in perfect clarity what her file said. _'She hadn't talked to anyone. In months! Why all of a sudden is she talking now? And to me!?'_

Being as...empty upstairs as he was at the moment, Jasper replied to her question, "....Huh?"

She didn't smile, she didn't laugh. She just looked calmly at him, titling her head ever so slightly as if to see him differently. She was obviously observing him.

Bella nodded lightly, almost unnoticeably, as she turned her view back on the wall in front of her. "Just as I thought." Was all she said.

Jasper tried to recover as fast as he could, and even being a vampire, it took about a minute. "Wait. What?"

She didn't respond, just acted as if she didn't hear him...or as if he didn't exist. Or maybe it was more right to think that she herself didn't exist. Either way, she said nothing. "Bella-"

"_**Don't**_call me Bella." There was so much venom in her tone, he was so sure she just might have been a vampire. Her head had snapped to his direction and she was glaring at him.

No....not glaring....On a closer inspection, he saw that she wasn't glaring, but was just staring with such intensely that it could be taken for a glare. He came to the conclusion, that if _that_ was her stare then he did _not_ want to be on the receiving end of her glare. Hiding a smirk at the thought of _Edward _having that glare at him, he watched as she made her statement force its way into her mind.

This was not the same girl he knew. The way she talked was with strength, power, and knowledge-as if she chose every word she spoke with care-. Her Eyes held the soul and emotions she kept completely locked up inside of her. And even her body was different, not that he was looking at her body in _that way_.... She seemed stronger physically, more aware of her body and surroundings. Surely this couldn't be the same person who had tried to kill herself over his brother.

The woman before him wouldn't even take a second look at someone as pitiful as Edward. She definitely wouldn't trip over her own two feet...or air, who wouldn't be surprised because of someone coming up behind her. No. She would have been aware of them from the moment they saw her. She was someone who knew where she was going. Where she would end up, what she was worth, who see was, what she liked/disliked. She knew she held power, strength, and knowledge. This was _not_ Bella Swan.

Yet. It was.

He watched as this stranger observed him, observed to make sure that her words were taken in and not tossed carelessly aside. When she was satisfied, she made to turn her head back, but was stopped when she heard him ask, "Then what shall I call you?"

She seemed to be assessing him, as if to see if he was serious...or worthy...and said, "My name is Isabella."

Jasper nodded, but not in a way to make a crazy person seem content and then try to make said crazy person trust them. No. He agreed because it made sense. Bella was that weak girl who loved Edward Cullen until her dying day. Isabella was this strong person. This stranger.

He took a calculated step forward- watching her see it right away, and take it in for her own calculation, before observing him even _more_ closely- and reached out his hand. Smiling he said, "It's nice to meet you Isabella. I'm Jasper."

He was watching her just as closely, so he saw the ever slight twitch if her lips in the corner.

Isabella hesitated a moment, taking in his outstretched hand, his calm demeanor, his presence in the room, and his seemingly innocent acceptance of her name, before taking his hand and shaking it ever so lightly.

She looked at him and said, "The pleasure is all mine."

He laughed. So the girl does have a sense of humor under it all. he noticed that she didn't laugh or even smile, but there was joy in her eyes. Whether from him laughing at her joke or from the fact that she was happy, he didn't know.

As his laughter grew quieter and soon into nothing, they sat in silence. There were a lot of things he want to ask...to say, but he didn't want her to be upset or not talk to him. He knew it was crucial that they stay friendly. It was more then her sanity-if she had it at all-, it was like it was crucial to **them**. Them as one.

"Shoot" Came an almost silent reply. It was then that he noticed a few things. One: She was aware of his unease somehow, and that he wanted to ask her something. Two: Even though her voice was low it still held its powerful- should he say dangerous- edge. And three: She had been talking in that low tone this whole time while he answered her at normal volume, making him seem -to anyone who could hear- like someone insane, talking to himself.

He laughed at all three and then said, "How to start?"

"The beginning is always the best place to start."

"It is," He agreed. "So, umm....why are you talking to me?"

He heard Isabella sigh. "I knew it would have to be one of the most complicated ones first doesn't it?"

Jasper didn't reply, but just waited patiently for her to continue.

"It's...difficult to say for sure Jasper. But I _think _it has to do with the fact that you....went threw the same thing I did. You lost someone close to your heart as well as I did. In that way, I feel more ....comfortable shall we say? Familiar? Maybe more sane is better. Either way, around you, I feel....content, safe if you will."

Said man just watched as she answered his question. She felt safe around him? Him? The monster who almost ate her from her birthday little more then a year ago? Hm. Maybe she really was crazy...

She laughed.

Jasper's head shot to look at her, seeing he watching him with a look of amusement on her face. "I know what you're thinking Jasper, just by your face. Maybe I am crazy." She laughed quietly again before falling silent.

He took that as a sign to get over the sound of her laughter and go to the next question. "Uh....why are you so different?"

Bella-_Isabella_, he corrected himself- got a blank look on her face. It was obvious she was thinking about the answer to that.

Jasper found it fascinating the way it wasn't a far away look in her eyes instead. He knew- he figured anyway, considering the way she was now- that is was a way for her body adapted, changed. It does this now so she is still aware of her surroundings at all times even when in thought, so no one will come up on her.

"Honestly, I believe that the shock, the almost suicide, and the change all triggered my body to go into lock down. After about a week in here-" she gestured around the room almost unconsciously, "-my body began to adapt, trying -in vain I think- to save me. Trying to keep some part of me alive and living. As I think with all humans, our most natural instinct is self survival."

He was silent. Jasper wanted to ask what she meant by 'in vain' but decided against it. He knew he wouldn't get an answer. Or maybe she would and he didn't want the answer. Maybe he couldn't take the answer that would leave her lips.

Isabella just watched Jasper as his mind went threw the stages of processing her words. She knew the moment the words _in vain left_ her lips something would happen. As Jasper went threw filing it all in his mind -faster then humans would have- she stayed silent, watching for his reaction. She could see threw her 'new' eyes the smallest changes in his face as a new thought, emotion, or realization passed, making his face change and shape with each passing one.

When she saw that he had finished and didn't say a thing, just looked at her with the knowledge of what she meant.

Smiling at him in approval and her own acceptance, she said, "Next question?"

"Oh, yes. Why wont you talk to any one else?"

"Simple. They're not trust worthy."

"Trust worthy?"

"Not many can be trusted Jasper. Most people are just there to gain your trust and use it to get them something. I trust no one but me and you."

"But why me?"

She sighed again, only this time it was resigned. "Because you know on some level what I'm going or went threw." By the look on her face he knew she wasn't going to say any more.

He didn't wait for her go ahead to ask another one. "Why wont you let others know you're fine and get out of here?"

She looked into his eyes and spoke with utter honesty. "Why? I would just hurt myself again- more permanently at that- and if by some miracle I didn't, who is out there for me?"

Jasper didn't speak. How could he? All he had to offer were useless for the new Bella. the things she had once treasured probably meant nothing to Isabella. And he had proof to back that up in the way she talked about her life and in the way she hurt Jessica.

"I'm..._safe_...here. Safe from others and safe from myself. I know I'm crazy Jasper. I don't need some doctor to tell me. Nor do I need something to happen to show me. I also know that neither do you."

They stared at each other, recognizing each others meaning in their eyes.

She trusted him, needed him on some level, and understood him far more then anyone else would because she didn't have anything obscuring her view of him. Not love of a family, not friendship, not even liking. Oh sure, she was aware she was his..._friend_-the meaning of the word somewhat lost to her since her change- but she wouldn't let that stop her from truly seeing him. She wouldn't make that mistake again.

He understood her position as it was, her level of trust of others, her feeling towards certain things, and more.

"What about Edward?"

Staring at him, she didn't answer. She didn't even contemplate contemplating about the answer. She wouldn't answer because Edward was nothing to her.

Nodding, he looked at her. "I see."

the door began to creak and he could see that the door was going to be unlocked.

Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Looking, he saw Isabella turn to look at the wall, curl up and put on a vacant look. _'It's all an act.'_ he thought with some level of amusement.

Once the bolt opened with a resounding click he answered his question from before. It _was_ warning someone. It was warning _her_.

Laughing, he walked to the door and the officer there, he heard, "Please?" It was so low, so quiet that he was the only one who heard it. Not even needing to look at her or have it explained he said, "I promise."

When he heard a sigh of relief, he turned around and left, leaving behind a confused officer who was beginning to think the 'special doctors' were nothing but insane people paid to come an talk to other insane people.

* * *

Walking in the front door, Jasper headed off to his room, ready to pack. Being with Isabella had cleared his head, and let him see that there was no real reason to stay behind other then pain.

As he was about to step up the stairs, Edward came in along with Alice and the rest of the family.

He had carefully blocked his thoughts from Edward, because he knew he would want to know, just as he knew that Isabella wouldn't want him to know.

What he didn't know was why Alice hadn't had visions of her. But he left that alone for another time to puzzle over.

"So Jasper, how did it go?" Asked Carlisle.

Edward was looking at him a little frustrated because he couldn't see what had happened. All he could see was the numbers being counted up, one by one in Japanese.

"Jasper!" He yelled. "I have a right to know!"

"No." Jasper answered so coolly and calmly that it left Edward winded. "You don't."

Turning to Carlisle, he said, "Nothing. Just as I expected. She was unresponsive completely. Now that _that_ is out of the way, I'm leaving."

In less then three minutes, Jasper had all his things packed, and in his car.

He hugged Carlisle and Esme. "I love you guys. You really were my mom and Dad."

Dry sobbing, Esme said, " You....you don't have to go."

"Yes I do. I'm not staying here with_ them_." He shot a look of hate at Alice and Edward. "It would seem Bella was right to get out of her. She was the smart one, leaving first."

Edward let out a growl so vicious that even Carlisle took a few steps away.

Ignoring him, Jasper went over to Rosalie and Emmett. "I'll miss you. Make sure to beat Edward every day Emmett, and Rosalie? Give him hell."

"Of course" They both replied. Bella was their sister and for Edward and Alice to do something like that to her was unacceptable. They loved her and Jasper knew they would truly be in hell while they stayed here.

Waving one last time, Jasper got into his car and drove off. He needed to find a hotel. Then, tomorrow, he'd visit Isabella again.

* * *

**Ah. This chapter was great! Oh it was fun writing! And it came with so much ease! Oh, I love it. It must be because of all the music I'm listening to...and the pic of Jasper in my mind. -melts-**

**Anyway, I hope you all thank Gackt for the lovely music inspiration...THANK HIM!**

**Gackt: O.O......**

**Jasper: This is a story about an Alice and Edward pairing?**

**Nope! ^.^ This is a JasperXBella!**

**Jasper: ......**

**Gackt: -turns to walk away-**

**Oh no you don't! -grabs and hugs-**


	6. The only one allowed

**Hello Lovelies! It's me!!! ****How come only one person thanked Gackt in their review? Come on ppl, he helps too you know!**

**Disclaimer: I doubt that Mrs. Meyer would like it if I had written her story. So instead, I'm writing my own little Version. **

**A/N: Violence warning. -smile-**

**That's all. Read on my readers!**

* * *

Jasper was on his way to see Isabella again. It had become a routine since that day many months ago. Isabella was now two months from turning twenty, and Jasper's only/best friend. They spoke everyday about anything and everything. Why not? There wasn't much else to do considering she wasn't allowed out of her room without an escort. Not that she ever said anything about wanting to leave in the first place.

Over the time they had spent together, Jasper had developed certain feelings for his Isabella. Sure, they were friends, and he was protective of her, just as any 'big brother' figure would have been, but it had gone beyond that sometime during their talks.

XxXxXxXxX

_Jasper sat cross legged as he stared across the room to Isabella. They were talking about past experiences, and one of hers when she first learned how to ride a bike made him laugh. She had fallen more that day then in her whole life (which was saying something.)_

_Once he stopped laughing, he looked at her, only to see her watching him with an intensity that he had become slightly accustomed to over the past weeks. "Yes, Isabella?"_

_She didn't hesitate. No, that's not the word to describe her silence at first. She was placing her words in the way she wanted them to be. He had grown use to this too, her always on alert and knowledgeable mind. Only someone as smart, different, and powerful as Isabella would choose her every word with care. She had grown to know from the bottom of her soul that words had power, taken and given. They should never be used to state the wrong thing which could happen often and did, daily around her. She was the only one to notice, himself also, now that he had spent so much time around her._

_"Jasper, why do you never bring up your past that you file away as a mistake?"_

_Ah, you see? She said as I make it as such. She wanted to make sure I knew she didn't assume or claim to know that they were. It was only then that what she asked registered in his mind._

_Looking deeply into her eyes, he saw nothing and tried to express everything. Her eyes that held knowledge also held innocence and understanding. They revealed that she was simply waiting for his answer, not judging him on anything._

_"This is not something I like talking about Izzie." He used the nickname he had picked up for her. Sometimes it switched from Izzie to Is. "It's not something I like to remember."_

_"I am aware of that Jaz, but you can't run from your past. And you shouldn't forget." She spoke with knowledge beyond her years. So much so, it made him see the truth of it without much thought. It was amazing how she could do that._

_Sighing, he nodded and leaned on his arm, which was bent at the elbow on his knee. "Well, there isn't much to say. It all kind of blurs together in a common day. Pretty much, it's all the same. Killing. Fighting to stay alive while killing others to keep it that way." Looking into her eyes and trying to convey what he was about to say in hopes she would forgive him. "Killing the innocent also was an everyday thing. For food or sport. It was something to do when not being targeted. It kept me strong and aware. It kept time moving." His eyes had gotten a slightly far off look to them. "I could never remember the number of lives I took, not even the faces of my victims. They are all the same faceless blob that only served to sedate me in both hunger and need. But God am I sorry for what I did back then. Whether I would take it all back, I cannot be sure."_

_Another thing about Isabella was that being around her made you think a lot about yourself. A few weeks ago he would have told everyone that he would do anything to bring back all the loves he took, but no. Not anymore. "Only because....because if I had, I would not be the man I am today. The sadness and regret will never fade, nor do I wish it to. It keeps them alive for me. But most of all, it keeps me remembering that I am a monster and can't ever go back to the way I was."_

_Jasper looked deep into her eyes, begging her for her forgiveness. How could such an innocent being even thing about approving of one such as he? He was worse then Edward in his cheating was. Edward at least only stayed as he was for a small amount of time before going back to Carlisle, fearing the monster he had become. He, on the other hand, had embraced his inner beast. He has thrived in the way he was, felt no remorse as life after life was taken. No, he loved the way he was...when he was like that. Now... now things were different. Now he didn't want to be in that life. Because, no matter what that held, it always seemed to be missing something. Something that he wasn't sure he found, but was certain he was closer to finding it now then before._

_Isabella looked away from him, completely turning her head in the other direction._

_He didn't know why it had hurt so much but it had. Her rejection washed over him as other's emotions do. His body went cold on the inside, even to him. His stomach was suddenly empty, a bottomless pit. His heart...his heart was constricting on itself, almost as if it was strangling him for his past mistakes, his past sins. He was about to get up and leave when she turned back and said, "Jasper, don't ask me for forgiveness. It's not mine to give. However I will say this, it is up to you on how you think of yourself. Only you can make yourself out of your past and either make your present better, the same, or worse- and trust me- it can be made worse."_

_He was lost in what she had said. That was nothing like he had expected. As he looked into her eyes, he saw only truth and acceptance. Of him and his monster. He saw that she knew he didn't really mind the killing, just the haunting of their souls on his conscious. Even though she knew him for what he was underneath- a monster- she didn't judge him._

_Hearing the door open, she said one last thing to him before acting normal and blank. "It doesn't matter Jasper. You are you, no one else."_

_Jasper was sure that at that moment, his world was lost. He knew what he was looking for, but was more so sure that he would never get it. Another. Someone else to chare that hard existence with and who still excepts him with it. The bad with the good. Alice had never been that. She had -or tried to anyway- change him. Isabella...Isabella was someone that would not change another to their liking. They were who they were to her, nothing more or less. Isabella was the one he had wanted._

_And the one he would never get._

XxXxXxXxX

Still, that hadn't changed the way he acted around her. He was still himself...to an extent. He no longer watched her innocently or brotherly. No, he acted the same, even though his world was upside down. His revelation about her had completely turned around everything.

When he saw Is, he couldn't keep his mind from running slightly wild and into dangerous territory. He acknowledged his want to be with her, his want to claim her in every way, but he didn't act on it. She was his, in a way, and as long as she didn't want to change that, then that was how he would make sure it stayed.

Pulling over his Black and Blue Bugatti Veyron, he turned off the engine and stepped out of the car. It was new, only around six hundred and sixty-six thousand. Amazing car. Very fast.

It was when he was about to turn into the building that he was swamped with worried, hysteric and furious emotions. He was surprised to say the least (considering it was usually nothing but calm and quant here) and was forced to his knees by the sheer power of the combination. Forget the combination, the raw strength of one in particular. He didn't know how he knew, he just did. _'Izzie.'_

He ran as fast as human speed would allow into the building, still causing many unlucky people to run into him who fell to the ground hard. HE didn't stop however. They weren't important. None of them were. None but Is.

He saw many medical attendance people running up the stares as fast as there insufficient legs would carry them. He heard, "We don't have time! She's lost control. Get he drugs!"

"Dr. Kennedy, we can't! She could be damaged from the strength-"

"_Don't_ argue with me Flitch! I know her. Swan can't be left. It** is** worth her danger for **our** safety! She is _very_ dangerous! Now, the drugs! Fifth floor, hurry!" And with that they split up, Kennedy running to the elevator and Flitch tuning back into the direction of the supply storage room.

Jasper saw red. How **_dare_ **theysay such a thing! Her life was worth so much more then theirs! But what happened!?

Taking off at vampire speed -screw the fear of humans finding out- he reached the fifth floor before the elevator had even reached the first floor. Looking around frantically, he saw other doctors running wild in every direction at a loss of what to do. Many of the patients were either in a corner scared out of their lives, or in the threshold of what he came to recognize as the sitting hall.

Realizing they were all watching something, he ran over there. What he saw both turned him on and enthralled him.

Two guards lay unconscious close to the doorway. One was bleeding from the head with his beating stick dropped forgotten by his side. The second seemed to have a broken arm and a huge bump on his head. a patient lay dead on the ground, his neck snapped in half.

On the other side of the room where a bunch of white figures seemed to be in a fight, there was a lot more blood.

Jasper saw now that the figures were three doctors and a girl -a patient by her clothing- were in a fight. It took only a millisecond to see that it was his Izzie.

His Izzie was fighting off them as two tried to hold her down as the other tried to infect some kind of drug other then the one Kennedy seemed to be inclined to want to use. He was about to interrupt to stop it when he saw Is use her right foot to kick the doctors head back while her left foot knocked the syringe out of her hand.

There was a snap from when the man's neck was forced back, making it immediately known to Jasper that the man was dead.

The shock caused the other doctors to unconsciously loosen their holds. It was all she needed.

Isabella yanked out off their hold and with a cat like grace, landed with one arm out stretched to her side, the other between the bent legs, keeping herself balanced. Without waiting a moment, she grabbed the discarded drug and got her hold on it before slamming it into the neck of one of her 'captives', forcing all the drug into their system without releasing the air forced, causing air to make it's way into her bloodstream, which would surely kill her.

The woman fell to her knees, grasping at her throat before loosing all feeling in her arms and collapsing face first onto the hard ground below.

By this time, the person Jasper had saw down stairs made her way into the fray. Isabella took notice immediately and stood her ground, eyes shifting between both her enemies. Jasper was just so lost in her grace and strike he couldn't do anything but watch. He could only describe her movements as flowing water, easy and gracious.

Spinning on the spot, she crouched down and elbowed Kennedy in the solorplexes, causing her to double over. Taking that chance, Is knocked her feet from below herself and watched in sick satisfaction as her head banged against the floor with a resounding thud.

Not waiting a moment, she grabbed her head and began to slam it into the floor, causing blood to spew from it.

The other doctor took this chance to try and to take a hold on her. Jasper heard other security guards climbing the stairs, and knew the doc was trying her hardest to just hold out until they made it.

Isabella threw her head back and slammed it into her binder. Forcing the body away from hers, she released herself and turned around. Jumping up, she landed a spinning kick on the woman who was forced into a corner wall from the blow.

Just as the guards came in, Jasper stepped forward. Against their warnings of 'Stay back!' he quickly walked over to Isabella and quietly placed his hand on her shoulder. She tensed and untested ever faster then it would take Edward to walk a step at full speed. She knew who this was.

The room was silent as the people stared at shock as this stranger touched the one person who was never touched. This guy touched Isabella Swan and lived! He didn't even get a reaction!

One of the men stepped out of it long enough to pull out the syringe of drugs that they were all required to carry and step forward. Before he got three feet, Jasper glared over at him. "No." Was all he said.

"But I have to-"

His glare could have made James cry, and he knew it. "She is fine. I will take her back to her room."

Placing both hands on both of her shoulders, he calmly turned her round -careful of the guards and bodies- and guiding Is out, he heard, "What started this Henson?"

"Nothing...Greenly just led her to the bathroom. I think...Oh no. He must have touched her then."

"Damn it! How many times do we have to tell these people, don't touch her!?"

Jasper was happy. Extremely happy. Not only was he the only one allowed to touch her, but she had fought well today. But he got angry when he though about the fact that that guy touched her. They should all know by now not to touch her. She. Does. Not. Like. To. Be. Touched. Those idiots had made her react to them. They should have known one touches Isabella. No one.

Except him.

Man was he glad he smuggled in those martial arts books for Is a while back.

* * *

**And there you go, the end of this chapter. Hope you all like it. I do. I loved the car and the fight seen. It really is a nice car, no lie. Look it up yourself.**

**Oh, and just in case you want to know, the only reason Jasper is allowed to touch her is because she allows it. It's only because she is alright with it that he does.**

**Thanks for the cookie!**

**Okay, that's it.**

**Hyde: That's it?**

**Yeah.... why?**

**Miyavi: 'Why?' WHY!?!? You forgot about us!**

**Ohhhh..... Oops.**

**Gackt: -glares at- Some Crazed Fan you are. -Disappointed-**

**-Cries-**


	7. Freedom or condemned?

**Well, before I forget, YAY!!!! I can't believe this! This is my first story that has over 100 Reviews! I am SOO happy with this story! You have no idea! I smile every time I see it. It's like, -grin- YAY!!XD**

**This chapter should be...interesting. **

**And oh! Thank Miyavi-san and Gackt-san for their AWESOME music inspiration! It was helps SO much and I love their voices. XD**

**Read on!**

**(Before I forget, I wrote something to help me get this chapter going. It's called Obsessions. Check it out.)**

* * *

They walked back to Is's room- Prison- in silence, side by side. No words were said. They never were, at least, not in public. And even if they were, they were not needed. As they reached room 19, the guard quickly opened the door and stepped away from Izzie, the smell of fear was evident on him. At least one person knew what was good for him....

Once they entered the room and were out of the public eye, Izzie seemed to relax somewhat. She still remained frozen however until we both heard all the locks click in place.

Jasper leaned against the opposite wall and crossed his arms over his chest, watching her. She was angry still, that was obvious. There was a deep hate that burned in her eyes, so powerful not even he was sure of it was all aimed at others. He never had the strength to ask her if anything she did was because she hated herself. In all honesty, that's not how it looked, but if you could seen the power behind those emotions in her eyes.... If you could comprehend the full strength of it, you would wonder...couldn't help but wonder how so much hate can actually exist. And more so, even if it could, should it really be only directed at one person?

Surly you would be overcome by so much...surly your thoughts, movements and opinions would soon get corrupted by it as the emotion overflowed and tried to exist. So much hate could not be kept locked away in only one part of the mind. It would spread like a disease, and soon, there would be nothing left.

But as Jasper locked eyes with Izzie, he couldn't help but notice that even with all that hate in her eyes, the raw and uncontrollable rage that they contained, none of it- even in the slightest amount- was directed at him.

Isabella looked away- not in surrender of course. If one knew Isabella enough, they would know that nothing with her is a complete surrender- and walked over to her 'bed'. As she had done a many a times with and without Jasper's presence, she flipped it on it's side and began to workout. It was the best way for her to keep her time along with getting rid of all this frustration. She knew where Jasper's thoughts had been when he looking into her eyes. The rage in them.... She knew herself and knew it would not be a good thing to leave it undealt with. Sure, she had it in somewhat of a control. After all, she knew herself better then anyone else. But that also meant, she knew that it was uncontrollable. It was obvious to her that if she let it get even more then a fourth free, she would not be able to stop.

She was not sure exactly where all the anger cam from, but did know that it was from many places. Perhaps it accumulated over the years. Perhaps not. But it was still there, more powerful then anything she knew. And whether she said so or not- whether Jasper knew or not- she was scared, even if only about this.

Jasper.... Now that was something else that neither of them knew. How was it he escaped her rage? Her uncontrolled anger at everything and everyone? It was clear- had been for the past moths that he was an exception to her anger. He was the only one who could touch her, the only one she would talk to, the only one she could trust. Maybe that made all the difference, perhaps not, but it was as it was. Jasper was the one and only person that was safe.

That was something she had come up with when she had first noticed this. It took a bit of contemplation, but that was really what came to mind. And strangely enough, she was glad.

Jasper walked over to the bed and placed an almost casual hand on the bed, holding it in place. With not even a glance at his face, Is reached up to one of the legs and began to do chin ups. It was not a surprise she could do them with ease, but then again, it was not without it's practice. The first time they had tried this, she could barely do two. The strength that she had had before in the hospital was nothing but adrenaline and the underlying pure need to die. Now her strength was her own with only a kick of adrenaline. They had spent four months working out. Jasper can't tell you how funny it had been the first time she had tried these. The fact that it was so difficult to lift herself up. Then the fact that the sweat the accumulated in her hand caused her to slip off the bar several times.

But the whole time, she had not once blushed or felt embarrassed. Is had said that it was only natural to mess up at least once, she was only human after all. And he completely agreed.

It was astounding sometimes, to see the difference in Bella And Isabella. If he hadn't known better, he would say that were two completely different people. However, he did know better, and that made him upset for he knew what change brought the new girl up and what caused that change in the first place. But she seemed to have pulled through. Or at least, that is what Jasper wanted to believe. After all, those words from their first conversation were still fresh in his mind, and he did not want to entertain the idea of her unsafe to herself.

After thirty chin ups, she dropped down with a strange cat like grace and began on her push ups. It was when she was on twenty three that he finally spoke.

"Izzie...." He knew he had her attention when her eyes drifted to his and stayed there, waiting patiently for him to continue as she continued her exercises. He had a feeling she knew what he had to say, but said it anyway. "We have been lucky thus far to stay under Carlisle's radar of this place. The people here still think I am here under his orders so there is no need to inform him, but after what happened today...."

Is, who by now was sitting Indian style, nodded, her face serious as always. "Yes, I gathered as much."

Jasper sighed, and after righting the bed, he came to sit by her side. "I wouldn't be surprised if he already knew." And that was true. He could hear the people right now talking to Carlisle on the phone just three floors below them. "I don't know what he will do Is, but I am almost certain that I won't be able to see you anymore." His voice was calm and cool as he said this, something that surprised them both.

"You know that without you here Jasper, things will get much worse." She said this without any underlying tone. She meant it as she had stated it. Without him there to stop her, if something like this happened again, she wouldn't, couldn't (though neither of them were sure if they wanted to ) stop. Many would get hurt, and possibly her. It was almost certain that she would. After all, hadn't she said that her body had tried- in vain- to save her? She said she was crazy, there was nothing else to it. She was safe in here,- or at least, was....

Jasper's face grew dark in contemplation. No, she wasn't safe here anymore. Is had killed people today, all because one _stupid_ person _had_ to touch her. He tried his best to sheath his anger that was running ramp it. It wouldn't do any good to get mad. Shaking his head, as if it would rid his mind of it, he continued. they would try to get her an even more secure area. There would be no outside ventures, there would be many window, but only the ones that allowed others to see her and not the other way around. He wouldn't be allowed to see her or talk to her. There would be many cameras, no privacy for her... They would make her life hell. He couldn't let that happen.

"Isabella," He said, his voice utterly serious and grave. She looked up, almost taken aback. Jasper only said her real name when it was something Very important. "Let's go."

She looked a bit confused before shock took it's place. Her eyes grew wider and her mouth opened ever so slightly. She recovered quickly but didn't say a thing. She just watched Jasper calculatingly. Her eyes were narrowed ever so little and she seemed to be thinking of many things.

"I know you understand me. I can't leave you here to suffer for what happened today. I'm sure you know what will probably happen. Carlisle is already on his way. They won't try anything until he gets here Is, but that leaves us only minutes. I don't know if he is bringing anyone else, but I know I won't be able to continue seeing you. We'll need to leave here. It's the only choice left."

Still she said nothing. Her eyes were still on him and she seemed dead almost, like she first had when he came to see her. She didn't so much as blink as she stared at him, her face giving nothing away.

"Do you want to stay!?" He almost begged her to say something, but that wouldn't get anything out of her. He needed to be able to see her. He knew she didn't know that he loved her, but even then, if she did, would she know that he needed her? Would she say she would go with him?

Again she said nothing. It almost looked like she saw right through him. Her eyes stared at him so intently, she didn't speak, didn't imply anything. It was only after Jasper heard the tired screech to a halt and he heard Carlisle's voice did he open his mouth to say something. But as he did she spoke.

"Does what I say even matter in this one situation? As I see it in your eyes, you are willing to take me whether or not I comply. Jasper, I told you before, I'm _safe_ in here."

"But not anymore! Things will change. I know that and you know that. Is... _Please_. Please let me take you out of here while I still can." His voice was pleading. He didn't want to lose her. He couldn't take another break like he had with Alice. " I can keep you safe. You know I can."

"Can you?" She mutters almost to low for even him to hear. "Can you really?" There was an odd smile on her lips, soft and understanding, yet sad and disappointed. "I guess we'll find out, won't we." She looked up into his eyes and nodded. With a relieved smile, he jumped up and knocked on the door.

* * *

It hadn't taken long at all. Less then a vampire would have guessed even. Jasper had gotten the door unlocked and as fast as a vampire could, he knocked out the guard, took Is and ran. He was smart enough to break the cameras though.

But as excited as Jasper was, and as happy as he seemed, he couldn't deny the shock of pure terror that had ran through his body as he had glimpsed a look of bronze hair behind Carlisle from the corner of his eyes as he floored the gas pedal with all it's might.

He had driven like a crazy man, speeding through stop signs, red lights, ready to run down old ladies crossing the streets. Anything to get Is away from all danger behind them. And in the front seat, staring at him, Is couldn't help be see the relation to his driving and her's when she had spotted two of her past loved ones together in the most passionate and loving embrace.

Isabella was quiet as he swerved and skidded, all the while looking constantly looking in his rear view mirror. She, however, never looked back.

It was sever hours later when they reached a hotel many miles and states away from Forks, Washington. Jasper had paid cash for them both in a two bed room, even though only one bed would be needed. He might not really care about human appearances now, but he was still a gentleman to Izzie.

Running her hand over the material of the bed ever so softly, she looked lost. Jasper couldn't help but feel so sad seeing this. It was so different for her now. Is was Asylum bred. Only Bella knew the outside world. It's another big change for her, and only now he realized that he might have made a big mistake in taking her away. sighing, he sat on the opposite bed and put his head in his hands. Was it so wrong, taking her away? Would it have been better to leave her there to suffer at the hands of others? No. whatever way you may put it, he had done the right thing. He had to.

But as he looked up and saw Is staring at him, he couldn't be all that sure. she looked like a child, slightly insecure because of the strange new place. the Freedom that was now apparent on her shoulders. the new found feeling of not being locking away from the outside world, but now instead, being a part of it. It was something so very new to her. With her new way of being, could she handle this?

Jasper was brought out of his thoughts when he heard something growl. he laughed when Is put her hand over her stomach. "Sorry Jasper." He had forgotten about humans and their eating habits.

"It's okay. I forgot about that..." He put his hand on the back of his neck, looking a bit bashful.

She smiled slightly. Still, he couldn't help but see the hidden strangeness in her eyes. These things were alien to her now. Not to mention the fact that she was use to having three meals a day at the asylum.

He called for food to be brought up to their room. It was then that he realized something, as it did Is as well.

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Erm....I'm not sure....I think it was two weeks ago..." He had planned on going today...but things didn't go according to plan..."I'll go tonight."

As soon as the words left his lips, Is's face went stoctic. She seemed to freeze and look blank. At one time he use to think that only vampires could pull off that look, but apparently not. "Izzie?"

She said nothing, she didn't even respond. It was here that he got panicked. "Is...what is it?" He took a step towards her, gritting his teeth to keep from jumping at her. Normally he could handle his thirst, but it had been a while since he last hunt.

As if she noticed his struggle, she came out of it and smiled, though there was something different about this particular one. "It's okay Jasper. you can leave when ever you want."

His brow furrowed in though and confusion. "I'll come back Is. It's not like I would leave you."

"I know that Jasper." Her tone held something as well. what was she hiding?

He was scared of the way she was acting. She was never like this, especially with him. "Is...-"

"I'll be fine Jasper." Her face was stony.

Confused, yet unknowing, he had nothing else but to comply. he couldn't stay here if he was a danger to her. He nodded. "I'll be back soon Is. don't worry." He didn't know why he did it, but before he left, he walked up to her and kissed her on the forehead. the last thing he saw before shutting the door was Is's confused and slightly frightened face.

* * *

What was that all about? By now Jasper was three miles away in the forest, hunting elk. Is's face and behavior had yet to leave his mind and haunted him every moment. He just had to find out what was up. she was fine. She was safe-

Wait.

Jasper stopped dead. He body froze, colder then he thought possible. Safe..." _'I'm...__**safe**__...here. Safe from others and safe from myself. I know I'm crazy Jasper. I don't need some doctor to tell me. Nor do I need something to happen to show me. I also know that neither do you._'" That's it! 'Safe from myself' Is...oh my god! Is! What was she going to do!?

Faster the ever before, Jasper sped off towards the hotel they were staying at. Is....please be safe. Still, as he ran there the same thing ran through his mind. "_Safe from myself, safe from myself, safe from myself_."

* * *

Jasper burst into the room, breath hard, not because of the run, no. Because of the worry.

as soon as the door opened, he was hit with the force of fresh blood. His eyes went wide and his mouth watered. He didn't even register the way his body craved the taste. this was not the time.

he ran towards the smell and saw something that would haunt his ever moment awake forever.

there, lying broken and bloody was Isabella. Next to her was a knife that could only come from the food tray that he had ordered for her. Her wrists were cut deep, deeper then repairable and he knew this. Her chest rose in quick shallow breaths as she struggled with the last few moments of what life she had. there, next to her was a note. It said, _"No more mistakes."_

that was it...She had intended to kill herself. Since the moment he had said he wanted them to leave, that was on her mind. No more mistakes...she was right. these cuts would surely kill her.

there was no chance. she would die. Nothing could stop her death now. He fell to his knees in a deeper sorrow then he had ever felt before. She was going to die... Is...his Izzie was going to give up when she had come so far. "Why...Why!?" He yelled. Dammit all! If only he hadn't left her alone! He looked up from her wrists an into her face. She was looking at him, herself still fully aware of it's surroundings. "Is..." The backside of his hand caressed her cheek as he watched her. She was going to die.

Or was she? Jasper got a shock when an idea come to him. the venom of vampires could save anyone. Just look at Esme. there was a chance...but...could he chance it? After all...vampires put her where she was now...not to mention he hadn't fed in weeks and her blood...oh, her blood smelt oh so good!

There must have been something in his eyes because Isabella's heart sped up, and her breaths got quicker. She looked at him, wide-eyed. She knew what he was planning. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

He had to change her, but could he? Could he be selfish enough to claim her, to have her for eternity even though she obviously didn't want it? Could he do this for a chance with her even though there was no chance?

It needed to be decided. It was now or never.

* * *

**There you go! I liked it! I finally had a break through with this story. I've been stuck on it for a bit and the annoying part was that I had written it, or most of it a while ago but I felt it sucked ***. So I saved it and here it is now, better. It's odd...I've never done that before...I never want to again. *shudders* I really am sorry for the long wait, and I am glad that you all have suck with me thus far. Please don't be mad! **

**Lol, many of you guys had guessed Jasper would break her out, it was kind of funny. XD Care to guess what may happen next? XP**

**And last but not least, I just finished watching this mini series. It was stupid, funny, KAWAII!!!!!, awesome, pathetic, and cool! you HAVE to watch it. even if you don't like it, please check it. XD It's called, "Devil Beside You" It had English subs.**

**Hyde: ... YOU FORGOT US AGAIN!!!**

**SORRY!!!! My world does NOT revolve around you!**

**Hyde: O.O ... **

**.... But it does revolve around Gackt and Miyavi. XP**


	8. Gone and not coming back

**Hello everyone! I am so _VERY_ sorry about all this. The timing, I know, is not something I could have helped. To do something that is worth my writing for this story and what I feel would be worth your time to read, I couldn't write unless I had not only the will, but the inspiration. Now, I've had the later- Thanks to Gackt, Hyde, and Miyavi- but the former is not something I can get. I've been dead to the writing world for days. It is VERY upsetting. Anyway, I hope to get this out as soon as posible. I do hope you all will forgive me.  
**私は非常に申し訳なく思って！許してください

**Disclaimer:** _I only own the plot, nothing else._

* * *

The screams were definitely loud enough to distinguish at a distance of four miles. That was why Jasper had had no other choice but to take her away once the screaming had started... Still, it worried him. The pain was instantaneous, powerful, and consuming. It was constant however. She began screaming when he had first penetrated her skin with his teeth, opening a pathway for the ever deadly venom. But still, that had been at least six minutes before she really began screaming. Blood had begun to rise in her mouth because she had ripped the lining of her throat. Her hands had began to pull at her head, tearing at anything and everything they came into contact with, let it be hair, skin, eyes....

It frightened him. He remembered with ever present clarity every single second of the changing process Carlise had told him. It was no lie that there was no known pain that could match the fire of the venom (it was painful to the point of not being able to move). But what if, what if that was the point? There was no _**known**_ pain more hurtful then fire. Still, what pain could Isabella be feeling that would cause the venom affects and fire to almost dull in comparison? There was no such thing....And yet there she was, in his arms as he ran, yelling and spiting up blood, clawing at herself with violence, fierce movements that she should **not** have been capable of doing at the moment.

What had he done to her? What had he done to the woman he loved? He had been selfish, not ready to give her up even though he knew, he KNEW, she didn't want this.

He had promised to keep her safe. That also meant keeping her safe from herself. He had failed. And now look at where he was! She was in so much pain....but he couldn't bring himself to end her agony, even as he set her down by a waterfall in the middle of the wild, dozens of miles away from any civilization. She was the one for him, the only one he wanted, the only one he needed. Call him a heartless bastard, call him selfish, call him every name that you could think of, he still did not end it. Not even when her screams got more intense.

Taking off his shirt, he jumped into the lake/stream that resided at the bottom of the waterfall and soaked it in the cool water. He got out and went over to Is, ripping some of the sleeve off and laying it across her forehead, trying to cool her down. He knew it was useless- or that was what he was told- but he still wanted to do something for her. He **needed** to do something for her. Something for her and not for him.

Even if the fire and pain was internal, he could still do his best to try and ease it. Picking Izzie up, he went back into the lake and got in, bringer her in with him. The coldness of the water didn't affect him, but it would her. He laid her on her back, his arms keeping her thrashing body afloat will he let the iciness of the water plus the temperature of his body sink into her cloths and hopefully her bones.

The pain didn't seem to recede, even as ice crystal began to form around her body where his hands met the water. He swore and once again asked, "Why!?" He couldn't do anything right! He couldn't do the right thing and let the person he loves have the ending they wanted, he couldn't be a good enough husband to the woman he had once thought he loved, and he couldn't end her suffering. He did nothing but cause pain to everyone round him. Pain and disappointment. Even now he remembered the look of disappointment that had crossed Isabella's face when he had told them they were going to leave. Only now did he understand why she had it. She was disappointed in him. Not that he let her out, after all, she had wanted to die, but because she had felt something in that moment like being let down.

He let out a growl that shoot the surrounding trees and made birds fly away, scared out of their minds. He had let her down, and there was nothing he could do now but watch and wait. Everything he did was useless now. He took her out of the water and as soon as her back hit the grassy ground he body began to convulse and her limb flew in every direction, tearing at everything in their wake.

He didn't understand...What was making her like this!? What could be happening!?

* * *

Isabella was scared, there was no other word. Oh, sure their were synonym and words that may seem to express even greater fear, but it all boils down to the base word holding all the meaning that all others words convey. Frightened, terrified, dismayed, panicking, etc. They all were nothing but cover ups for what she was feeling.

Yes, there was immense pain, more then she thought possible, but the burning she had heard so much about, and felt her first year in Forks, Washington because of James were all in the back ground to all of the happenings in her head. She wanted it all to stop, to control everything and make it cease being, cease spreading. She wanted to be able to control her body so she could cradle her head, to perhaps hold it together as the head splitting pain threatened to pull her apart in every direction. But, no. She couldn't. Her body wouldn't cooperate with her brains demands. She couldn't even find her body.

It scared her. All of this. The pain, the loss of everything she had control over, her life. What was happening!?

There was blackness everywhere, squeezing her in every direction, pulling for all parts of the universe. There was no pulling, pushing, up, down, side,...light. The most noticeable thing was the lack of light. It was pure black. The deadly back she had kept so far from in her days of confinement. The black that was nothing but impure, deadly, secretive, and dangerous. It was something that left her in the unknown, something she would never be comfortable with. Who knows what the unknown held.

But suddenly the pain in her head got worse, it pulled at every nerve ending her body was composed of and compressed it until she was sure they would soon collapse in on itself. She screamed even though she had no mouth, even though she had no ears to hear it, even though she knew it would not help. Eyes, golden butterscotch, entered her mind, by passing walls of shear will, mind block that were unconsciously put there by her body to protect itself from everything so it could save itself and heal.

It was to early. Her mind had not healed, only been given a false sense of security. She was another person because of the changes, but she still had all the pain from before. Though the most powerful thing on this planet, the human mind can only do so much. Those eyes, the golden eyes she knew so well, memorized, saw in her sleep to forget about them when daylight came, those eyes...they were filled with emotions. So many, too many to have known before. Now, they were recognizable. Even in the pain and aching of her mind, she was able to see and tell every emotion Edward's eyes had held that day in the hospital. There were so many. Love, sadness, anger, pure rage- something she wouldn't have been able to distinguish until now-, hate, disgust, joy, fear, anticipation, surprise, disappointment, remorse, contempt, longing. All of these, all thrown into one mind, all fighting for dominance in the world's most dangerous predator. She didn't know where they were all directed or where they came from. She didn't even know the feeling of them until they washed over her, tearing her insides apart with vigorous shredding knives.

Why?! Why was all this happening to her? All at once?

She felt tears streaming down her face even though she didn't have eyes to have them leave. They burned, just as the rest of her body did. It hurt, it hurt so much more then anything possible. Anything impossible as well. She needed...something. She needed someone. But who? Who was there for her? Who would stay with her and never leave her? Who would help her? No one. She was alone in this. There was no one to trust. No one to care. No one to pick her up when she fell and tell her that everything would be alright. And as the everlasting fire burned through the body that she no longer wanted to feel, she was dying inside. Her mind was tearing itself apart, her body was gone, if not on its way.

This felt like something more...something she had somewhat felt before, though only slightly. It was nothing close to this intense, only a nano taste of what is now consuming her. Her mind was disintegrating. She was having a complete mental collapse, a mental breakdown. All the walls that had erected to protect the most vital part of her were gone, her mind assessable to everything and anything that wanted to harm her. There was no turning back. This is how it was. This clarity of thought, this immense knowledge of herself and her thoughts, this invincible way of mind that can't be manipulated, even by ones self. It was dangerous. It was black. It was everything and nothing. It was now Isabella.

And as she opened her eyes to the new world, she finally understood it. She was now, truly and inevitably crazy.

* * *

**Hello!!!! Oh my.....that was fun to write....**

**Really it was, but im worried how you all will take it.**

**I felt it drawing me in as I continued on, I hope it does that to you also. Tell me what you think of it, especially after so long. I really AM sorry about the wait, and the spelling...and everything. Please stick with me, I need you all, I did this for you, not one bit of it was for me, nope. Not this time. Please, please, PLEASE, tell me we are still in this together. Give me your thoughts.**

**Hyde: -is still wallowing from last chapter's comment-**

**I said I'm sorry! I didn't mean it... like that.... ugh, I'm sorry! -hugs-**

**Hyde: -sniffles and hugs back, throwing a wink over to Gackt and Miyavi-**


	9. With change comes strength

**Ello loves! It's nice to see you al again, and so son -laughs nervously- ^^' Consider this quick update another appology as well as a thank you for all of those who stuck with the story after such a long wait.**

**This chapter is my longest, by FAR. Over 6,000 word. So...yeah, im REALLY sorry if you havent guessed. Not to mention it was cool writing this chapter.**

**Discaimer: I no own any of this but he plot. there are some things in this specific chapter that are taken directly from h books, and I make no claim.**

**Dedicated: All my readers a reviewers. I as only this. If you like this chapter, leave a review. PLEASE put in there a thank you to Gackt-san, Miyavi-kun,and Hyde-san. Their music kept me company through this and helped me write this chapter.**

**Need to know:**

---- means- cut out. I did edit out some extra to save some time.

-o0o- means- different/ change

**-o0o- **meas to sperate the change but to also show the differnece in point of view. Know that there is difference, but sick with me here.

* * *

The moment she opened her eyes, she knew something was wrong. It was new to her, though somehow familiar. It was like a hazy feeling, a memory trying to surface. As she looked up at the stars without blinking, she took in the beauty that lay out around her.

She didn't remember how she knew that those things in the sky were called stars, or how the sky was called the sky. She just knew that they were. And it was beautiful. They shinned like glittering silver in the beautiful moonlight, as that was what it was. It was night time. Twilight, if she was to be exact. And some how, she knew she was.

Twilight, the safest time for her. That was the first thing that went flying through her mind. It was an instinct to know. She wasn't sure how she caught that train of thought as it flew by so quickly it shouldn't have had time to register in her mind…but it did. Following that instinct, she relaxed and took a deep breath of the clear, fresh, unpolluted air. It filled her lungs and gave her mind a sort of piece that she didn't know existed. It tasted lovely. Was that really what a breeze tasted like?

She took another, not sure why she felt a weird feeling in her chest. She ignored her curiosity, and directed all her attention at the night sky. It really was beautiful- though the word hardly did it justice. What should have been black, was painted several different shades of blue, with shimmering silver specks, twinkling across her vision. Only the hand of an artist could have made such a work of hart. And right away, she knew she wanted to see more works like this one.

But another thing caught and held her attention. Wait, blue? Shouldn't it be black? She remembered everything was black. Black and painful.

When this crossed her mind, her body locked up, as if remembering the pain would bring it back. But no. There was no more pain. No more blackness. As the minutes passed in dead silence, except for the occasional cricket and the background noise she heard buzzing, she realized that she didn't hear anything coming from herself. Confused, she concentrated on her body, bringing it into focus. It was then that she noticed that she wasn't breathing. Her hand flew to her heart in a movement so fast she almost screamed in shock.

Trying to concentrate, she slowly placed her hand over her heart.

There was no beat. It wasn't moving, not pumping blood through her system as it should. Isabella began to panic. She wasn't dead was she? When the thought made itself known, her brows knit together. Wait. Didn't she want to die? Or…didn't she?

The hazy feeling seemed to float back to the for front of her mind, like a pulling, something she was trying to remember. Was it a memory? She paused for a second to think. Why didn't she remember anything? Did she have amnesia? What would her family think? Did she even have a family? Was there anyone out there that was care?

She sat up so quickly it was not a blur, but a chip in time, as if she was laying on the ground one moment, then sitting up the next.

Her hand still was placed over her heart, her eyes wide in fright. What was going on? Why was she moving like that? What happened to her? Why couldn't she remember anything?

She knew she shouldn't be moving like this, this fast. It was impossible. Yet…she was. It felt normal to her, yet her brain told her that people can't move at this speed. As for her body…Why was it…like this? It was so capable of these movements, so full of strength. The strength scared her, it wasn't normal. Her muscles rippled beneath her skin, so strong, she herself was scared. She felt as if they were able to do anything.

Looking down at her hands, she spotted the pale look of her arms and hands. A pearl color if you will. But not only that, her skin was flawless, smooth to the touch, yet it felt like it could stand against blades spinning a hundred- no, a thousand- miles per hour.

Was she a freak? Was that why she was like this? Then she started to hyperventilate- feeling she need not breath, if left an odd feeling in her lungs. Did people know she could do this? Is that why she couldn't remember? Where they trying to keep her away from, people? Where they using her as a lab rat to study her? Was she to be kept away from everything? How many times has she woken up and not remembered like she was now? How many times did people look upon her?

That thought gave her a chill.

Where people looking at her now, studying her movements? Where they observing her to see how she would react?

She quickly stood up in a move so instantaneous it was like no movement again. She looked around herself, trying to find them. When she looked to her left, there, about a hundred yards away, stood a male about three or four inches taller then her, with blond hair and a well muscled body.

It scared her. Again, the hazy feeling came back, trying to tell her something. She remembered nothing except for the fact that she shouldn't trust this man. He probably wanted to hurt her. To lock her up behind white walls and hurt her. He was just waiting for her to let down her guard and she knew it. She wouldn't give him a chance in hell. Besides, he wouldn't be able to get away with it. Surely….Wait….white?

Keeping the strange man in her sigh, she concentrated on her peripheral vision and saw nothing white. Then why did she think about white walls? What was going on?

She was snapped out of her musings when slight movement caught her eyes. Her head shot to the direction of the man where her mind calculated that he moved, even if only a step. Her reaction shocked her, as it made no sense and was unfamiliar, but she embraced it full heartedly because out of instinct, she knew it would help keep her safe.

He body leaned forward in a crouch, her body bending easily to be parallel to he ground. Her lips curled back over her teeth, exposing them in warning. Out of her mouth escaped a ferocious growl, telling the male to keep his distance. Her fingers flexed as the lay on the ground, ready to attack and lunge forward.

The male stood still as stone, frozen as if in time. Still, she didn't release her position. Her eyes were trained on him, not moving from her target for anything.

After a few moments, he moved, the statue coming to live once more. He lifted his hands slowly in surrender as he took another step towards her.

She lowered herself instantly, getting lower, her body readying to spring at the threat. Her lips pulled back further and she began to growl, her chest vibrating constantly.

"Please, calm down. I wont hurt you."

He spoke in a calming voice, something similar to something she knew she had heard before. It made her pause, even if only for a nano second. And that was all he needed. He sprung at her, knocking her to the ground in a blast that sounded as if the earth was splitting in two.

* * *

He had her pinned to the ground beneath him. He knew that being a new born would make it difficult, if not impossible to keep her down, but he needed to get some sense knocked into her. When she had woken, he was still not able to feel her emotions and that worried him more. He had been about to approach her when he saw no recognition in her eyes. She didn't know where she was, or he was. He was scared now. Did she even know who she was?

He didn't remember anything about losing your memories, but then again, she hadn't just gone through the vampiric change. Something else had happened, something more powerful, and painful.

He concentrated back on the girl beneath him. His legs held hers down and both her arms were crossed above her head, held by both if his. She was trying to bite him, bending her neck as much as possible biting constantly. She was still growling at him. It was when she began to try to buck him off of her that made him freeze in place.

The woman he loved was beautiful as a human, but gorgeous as a vampire. Her skin contrasted amazingly well with the night as she seemed to almost glow to him. Her eyes, though blood red, were the most captivating thing he had ever seen. They were intense and on fire. Her body was strong and firm underneath his.

All this did not bode well with a certain part of Jasper's anatomy. He loved Is and here she was, the most beautiful thing on the planet, right beneath him, alone. He had tried his best to deal with his…problems when it came to her, but now that she was a vampire, he wouldn't really have to worry about hurting her.

When she almost bit him, he got his mind to focus once more at the problem at hand. Now was _**not**_the time to be thinking like that. But if she would quit bucking against him, it would be easier.

His inner vampire, the part he had been forced to suppress when he stayed with the Cullens, was definitely not making it easier either. He wanted this vampire as much as Jasper did, and he was fighting for her.

Trying to fight of both at once was not something easy. It took something great to make a vampire sweat, and sweat he did. The battle was not easy, and as they both continued to fight he almost lost it.

Growling, he put more force against her and growled in her face, "Stop it now! I don't want to hurt you, but I will if I have too." His voice was harsher and more dangerous then he meant it to be. But it was a combination of his two sides, making it very clear that he meant what he said, and he was very dangerous.

* * *

The anger and rage that his voice contained brought her up short as she stopped and stared at him. It was then that she saw, clear as day, the scares that marred his body. They were up his muscled arms and is neck. She locked her body in place, not even breathing, She didn't move anything as she stared up at him.

The scares screamed at her. They told her to listen and don't do anything. Out of instinct , she knew that if she were to have bitten him, it would have left the same mark. That made her realize that she wasn't the only one to have fought him. Their had been others. Many others. The same amount that were all killed.

This man was dangerous, and it was just her luck that he would have to be the one she had to fight.

Again, that feeling of a memory came forth. Something about that last statement meant something to her. Dammit, she was getting fed up with not knowing. These feeling were beginning to piss her off.

Her eyes narrowed, not at the man above her, but at herself. She didn't like being angry, it made her…feel weird. She didn't know how, but she knew it would be better to not get angry. Just like it would do to not get the vampire male mad.

Her eyes widened. Vampire!? There was no such thing! She would have laughed had it not been for her mind and instincts both agreeing with the fact that he was a vampire. Some how, she wasn't as shocked as she should have been. It made sense….

It was also give her the reasons as to why she felt as she did. Not to mention that the male above her looked almost as pale as she did. Had his skin not been marked, it wou8ld have been identical to her own.

Growling her anger at him she spoke for the first time that night, "What do you want?" Her voice made her stop as well as the man on top of her. She blinked for a moment before realizing that that voice was her own. 'Well, that's not normal.' She thought. Her voice sounded like the sound of a piano being played by a master of music. The one and only best. So beautiful and so perfect that it left others amazed. Her voice was the most beautiful and peaceful song that could only come from a complex piece that took over three lifetimes to complete.

It had apparently also shocked the man because she felt him not moving. She too the chance and pulled her arms free. Using her elbows, she hit his chest to knock him off balance and once he was bending backwards, she kicked him off of her person.

She was up in an instant, ready to fight at a moments notice. Her body was already leaning forward, her back leg muscles rippling from the restrained need to pounce. She didn't want to get killed, so she just stood there. She would only attack if he did. It was the fear of being ripped to shreds that kept her some what calm enough to think around the need to kill the threat to her and keep her silent, otherwise she would have been growling and charging already.

She saw when the man took in her calm yet protective stance and after a moment of analyzing her, he stood up from his own crouch. Eyes still on each others opponent, they stayed silent.

She heard him break the peace of the night, his voice less threatening and clam this time. "Are you alright?"

She looked credulous at him. Was he seriously asking if she was fine after he just attacked her? Still, she didn't want to die today, so she nodded almost none existent.

"Good." He took a moment to pause and gather his thoughts before he asked, "Do you know who I am?"

Her brows knit together again as she looked him up and down. Was she suppose to know him? She shook her head slightly, her stance relaxed somewhat. Something about his presence seemed calling and familiar- ignoring that fact that he _**did**_ almost rip her throat out a moment ago, or at least, that's what it seemed like to her.

She saw the crest fallen look that came over his face briefly before disappearing completely behind a mask of indifference. He nodded and said, "Do you know who you are?"

That sounded like the most stupid question she had ever and would ever hear. However, though it sounded so, it wasn't. It was the opposite. No, she didn't know who she was. She didn't remember anything about herself. Slowly, so very slowly and cautiously, she stood up to let him know she wasn't about to attack him and she shook her head again, this time slowly enough to be discernable.

He looked confused for a moment and said, "I know who you are."

Her eyes grew wide before narrowing in suspicion. Though she was a bit frightened of her own voice at the moment, she opened her mouth and asked, "Then who am I?"

"You're a friend of mine. Your name is Isabella. Isabella Swan." He spoke slowly, his eyes looking at her for any sign of recognition. He didn't find any.

She did feel that pull again; however, that name didn't bring any memories to the surface. The feeling of familiarity was not enough to get rid of the emptiness in her brain. She shook her head at him, showing that she still didn't know.

She saw and heard him sigh, if held a sound of deep worry and sorrow that almost made her want to weep. She didn't understand why.

He got angry all of a sudden and yelled to the heavens above. His rawr filled her ears and her heart. She had to cover her ears it was so loud.

"Why!? Why can't I do anything right? Is this my punishment!? It this some sick fucking game you play with my existence? Do you enjoy ruining everything good in my life!? Fuck you and everyone you care for! I hope that one day you can feel what you make us go through!" He was breathing hard, his hands fisted at his sides. He was shaking in his rage.

She didn't know why, but she felt the need to comfort him, to bring him ease. She took a step forward and asked, "Are you alright…?"

He swung to face her with a speed that matched her won, his eyes black in not only hunger, but also in rage. He didn't charge at her, but he yelled, "Dammit Bella! Why'd you have to forget me? Why!? I need you!"

She had frozen on the spot when he had yelled at her, but it was what he called her that made her move again. Her brain had stopped working the moment he had addressed her as Bella. She caught nothing else after that one word. Her eyes were wide, scared. Her mouth was open wide in shock. 'Bella?' She knew Bella. It was then that she began to hear voices, none of which belonged to herself of the man in front of her. They were all calling out to her. 'Bella, Bella, Bella.'

She heard a woman's voice calling out to her. 'Bella! Bella! Are you alright? Bella!'

Then a male's. 'I'm glad you're here Bells.'

Again, voice after voice, person after person, people she began to remember formed in her mind, bringing with them, memories of her past. It was one voice in particular that had the biggest impact on her.

'I love you Bella Swan.' She would know that voice anywhere, in any time, in any life. _Edward._

The name burned into her mind, ripping her head, bringing memory after memory.

_

* * *

_

"Hello," said a quiet musical voice.

_I looked up, stunned that he was speaking to me. He was sitting as far away from me as the desk allowed, but his chair was angled towards me. His hair was dripping wet, disheveled- even so, he looked like he just got finished shooting a commercial for hair gel. His dazzling face was friendly, open, a slight smile on his flawless lips. But his eyes were careful._

_"My name is Edward Cullen."_

_-o0o-_

_"He told me one…" I hesitated._

_"Go on," he said._

_"About vampires." I realized I was whispering. I couldn't look at his face now. But I saw his knuckles tighten convulsively on the wheel._

_"And you immediately thought of me?" Still calm._

_"No. He…mentioned your family."  
-----_

_"And did that convince you?" His voice sounded barely interested. But his hands were clamped hard onto the steering wheel._

_"No. Nothing fit. Most of it was kind of silly. And then…" I stopped._

_"What?"_

_"I decided it didn't matter," I whispered._

_-o0o-_

_"So what you're saying is, I'm your brand of heroin?" I teased, trying to lighten the mood._

_He smiled swiftly, seeming to appreciate my effort. "Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin."_

_-o0o-_

_He looked down while he answered. "I'm surprised. I thought that Florida…and your mother….well, I thought that's what you would want."  
-----_

_"I would stay here in Forks, Bella. Or somewhere like it," he explained. "Someplace where I couldn't hurt you anymore."  
-----_

_"Shhh, Bella, calm down."_

_"Don't leave me," I begged in a broken voice._

_"I won't," he promised. "Now relax before I call the nurse back toi sedate you."_

_But my heart couldn't slow._

_"Bella." He stroked my face anxiously. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here as long as you need me."_

_"Do you swear you won't leave me?" I whispered. I tried to control the gasping at least. My ribs were throbbing._

_He put his hands on either side of my face and brought his face close to mine. His eyes were wide and serious. "I swear."_

_-o0o_

_"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on may face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying,_

_There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent._

_"You… don't…want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order._

_"No."_

_-o0o-_

_"Really?" he asked. "Then what would be your greatest problem? That would make Victoria's returning for you seem like such an inconsequential matter in comparison?"_

_"How about the second greatest?" I hedged.  
-----_

_"You never told me…," he murmured._

_"What?"_

_"What your greatest problem is."_

_"I'll give you one guess." I sighed and reached up to touch the tip of his nose with my index finger._

_He nodded. "I'm worse then the Volturi," he said grimly. "I guess I've earned that."_

_I rolled my eyes. "The worst the Volturi can do is kill me."_

_He waited with tense eyes._

_"You can leave me," I explained. "The Volturi, Victoria… they're nothing compared to that._

_-o0o-_

_Edward squeezed me gently, "I'm here."_

_I drew in a deep breath._

_That was true. Edward was here, with his arms around me. I could face anything as long as that was true. I squared my shoulders and walked forward to meet my fate, with destiny solidly at my side._

_-o0o-_

_Inside, on top of the very piano that he had played her lullaby, was Edward and Alice, naked and intertwined. Their limbs were lost together and she couldn't see where one ended and the other began._

_Bella's limbs went slack and the very precious gift that had laid so close to her heart dropped to the ground without so much as a glance. It broke in half, splintering and the player popped out. Some of the song played out, but began to slow and drawl. Finally it finished, completely useless._

_They didn't hear it. The music was much to loud and their own voices were taking up each others hearing._

_But she wasn't so lucky. Because they were so unaware, they were as loud and as free with their words or exclamations that she could here them over the music and threw the glass._

_--_

_"Oh! Edward! Harder, harder! Please!"_

_And he complied with her wishes, pushing in even harder, colliding their hips together with such a force that any one else would have broke._

_"Oh, yessss! God yes! Edward!"_

_"Alice, god! God, I love you!"_

_-o0o-_

_Bella's knees were held tightly against her chest by her arms which were securely locked around them. There was no way in hell she would let down her guard. No fucking way. Not with big muscled men waiting just outside her room to get her alone._

_No, they hadn't done anything to her yet, but she didn't trust it. They always walked her everywhere and watched her all the time. They were waiting for the right time to strike, she was sure of it._

_So maybe Bella Swan had gotten a **little**_ _paranoid during her stay here. I mean, the men could have just been doing their job, but who was to say there wouldn't hurt her if they got a chance?_

_And she was certainly not going to give them an inch._

_Maybe the walls did hold secrets. Maybe behind every wall there was a man hurting a girl, or just someone weaker. Yes, that made sense. It made all the sense in the world to Bella. They were all trying to get at her. But surely the walls in all their white glory would show evidence of harsh play, would they not, in all their innocence?_

_**-o0o-**_

_His Izzie was fighting off them as two tried to hold her down as the other tried to infect some kind of drug other then the one Kennedy seemed to be inclined to want to use. He was about to interrupt to stop it when he saw Is use her right foot to kick the doctors head back while her left foot knocked the syringe out of her hand._

_There was a snap from when the man's neck was forced back, making it immediately known to Jasper that the man was dead._

_The shock caused the other doctors to unconsciously loosen their holds. It was all she needed._

_Isabella yanked out off their hold and with a cat like grace, landed with one arm out stretched to her side, the other between the bent legs, keeping herself balanced. Without waiting a moment, she grabbed the discarded drug and got her hold on it before slamming it into the neck of one of her 'captives', forcing all the drug into their system without releasing the air forced, causing air to make it's way into her bloodstream, which would surely kill her._

_The woman fell to her knees, grasping at her throat before loosing all feeling in her arms and collapsing face first onto the hard ground below._

_By this time, the person Jasper had saw down stairs made her way into the fray. Isabella took notice immediately and stood her ground, eyes shifting between both her enemies. Jasper was just so lost in her grace and strike he couldn't do anything but watch. He could only describe her movements as flowing water, easy and gracious._

_Spinning on the spot, she crouched down and elbowed Kennedy in the solorplexes, causing her to double over. Taking that chance, Is knocked her feet from below herself and watched in sick satisfaction as her head banged against the floor with a resounding thud._

_Not waiting a moment, she grabbed her head and began to slam it into the floor, causing blood to spew from it._

_The other doctor took this chance to try and to take a hold on her. Jasper heard other security guards climbing the stairs, and knew the doc was trying her hardest to just hold out until they made it._

_Isabella threw her head back and slammed it into her binder. Forcing the body away from hers, she released herself and turned around. Jumping up, she landed a spinning kick on the woman who was forced into a corner wall from the blow._

_Just as the guards came in, Jasper stepped forward. Against their warnings of 'Stay back!' he quickly walked over to Isabella and quietly placed his hand on her shoulder. She tensed and untested ever faster then it would take Edward to walk a step at full speed. She knew who this was._

_

* * *

_

Isabella had her hands clamped down on her head, hard. The force of al the memories coming back only affected her a little, but the emotions that joined them, the pain, the joy, everything. It was tearing her apart inside.

No. Not this again. She would **not** let the pain take her again!

"…Bella?" When she heard that name, _that name_, she screamed louder. The person…he…he caused her all this pain! _Edward! _With a forceful pull, he turned fiery eyes to face the voice. They saw nothing but red as all the pain and rage built in her. It's all his fault! Edward did this to her, caused all this to happen! How _dare _he call her that name!

She flung her right hand out in his direction, and with a scream she felt a burst of power similar to her strength surged through her arm and flew out of her hand with a force she didn't know existed.

It hit it's target strait in the chest, making the black silhouette of the man next to her fly backwards over a hundred yards before crashing to the ground with a sickening thud.

She was not about to let it end there even if she didn't know what was going on with her body or what that power was. She lunged forward and chased after him. Edward wouldn't get away from her, not now not ever. He would pay.

With a yell that could be considered a cry of war, she tackled him as he just stood up and lunged for his throat.

Before she could make contact, a fist came up and hit her square in the jaw, causing her to fly into the air. She felt her jaw break and she ignored the throbbing of it as she turned in the sky using one of the fighting techniques she learned from her days in the asylum, getting ready to kick him once she landed.

He leg made contact with the ground, hard, creating a wide crater that shook the surrounding trees. Looking around, she spotted the shadow, realizing he had rolled out of the way. She hissed her displeasure as she lunged again.

"What are you doing Is!?" He ducked to miss the punch that she had aimed for his head as he knocked her legs out from under her and once again pinned her down. His left hand held both of hers trapped as is fight hand was on her throat, holding her still.

'Is?' She stopped fighting. Edward never used that name…He didn't even know it. And that hand…it was comforting. Not like the touch of everyone else. This one served to calm her and give her a sense of security.

She knew that touch anywhere. Jasper?

"Jasper?" Her voice was quiet as she whispered the name of her salvation.

Her eyes slowly lost the blood lust as her mind came back to the situation. The black shadow slowly became a man, and when they focused, she saw the blond headed vampire that had helped her for the past months.

"Is…?" She heard the relief and worry in his tone.

She slowly reached up a hand that was able to break free from his hold and caressed the side of his face. It really was him. *she jumped up and hugged him. "Jasper." His name became a sigh that left her voice in contentment.

"Isabella." He hugged her close to his chest, not willing to let her go. Now, now he might finally have a chance. She was given back to him.

* * *

They stayed like that for a while, neither feeling tired nor the urge to leave. They were comfortable and time ceased to mean anything to either.

When the sun began to rise, and it hit the clearing that they resided in, their peace was broken. It had not sunken in at first, after all, there had been more pressing matters at the time. However, once the sun shone and they began to sparkle did the realization hit her.

Isabella looked down and saw her skin glitter. It was then that her mind factored in something. She was looking at her wrists. They were smooth and sparkling. That meant two things.

One, she had not cut marks from her suicide.

And two, if she was sparkling, she _was_ dead. But not the way she planned.

She was a vampire. And vampires live forever.

She through back her head and let out the most terrifying growl Jasper had ever heard. It was then that he realized that she knew.

* * *

**There you go. -pants and passes out from so much typing-**

**Jasper: O.O Holy-**

**Bella: Crow -narrowes eyes- No swearing.**

**Jasper: -Roles eyes-**

**Miyavi: maybe someoeshould do something for her.**

**Gackt- yeah...**

**Hyde: -laughs- Miyavi, give her mouth to mouth resesition. XDDDD**

**Miyavi: Okay**

**(Hey, a girl can dream, can't she? XDD XP See you next time!)**


	10. Discovering the New You

**Hey all! I hope ya'll aren't too pissed off to read this NEW CHAPTER!!! WOOT!!!**

**I know, a new update right? It's been what… 9 months I believe? Yeah… -rubs back of neck- I've got no excuses. Just facts. Life. School. And no drive. –Sigh- Just look below. See when I started, and then continued. Yes, I only wrote on that day. -Winces- I'm sorry.**

**At least you have this new chapter, with love. Consider this an update for several things really.**

**1) This shows I haven't abandoned this story (Which I haven't! Never!)**

**2) That I'm writing (in some form or another) again**

**3) That I appreciate all of you all**

**4) And that I DO plan on continuing this story. But unlike last time, no promises for immediate updates. I will have you know that as this chapter ended, I did start on the next chapter- but please, don't ask for it.**

**Dedicated to- IDreamOfEddy. I want to thank you for the offer, and believe me, in writing this, I have thought it over multiple times (and I still haven't come to a conclusion). I hope you're not disappointed in the wait and the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series. I am merely writing this for my own pleasure and that of others. (And I haven't been doing a good job of it lately, I know this well.)**

**And please, don't review with a "FINALLY" or a "This sucked" because, honestly, we can all be more mature then that, and nicer. Thanks.**

**Please enjoy.**

* * *

_Started: 6-25-09_

_Continued: 8-11-09, 12-14-09_

_****: A poll for this story is on my account. I would like your input... and it might give me some help with the story development...**_

* * *

Flipping up and off the vampire below her, she let out an angry growl and landed thirty feet away in an attack position. "How _**dare**_ you." Her voice held anger beyond words. Her face was twisted in rage and pain as she stared at the frozen man in front of her.

Although mad on the outside she was scared internally. Scared and confused. Why had he changed her? He _knew_ about her wish to die, so why…

Isabella, not liking being confused and not understanding the things around her, let out a hiss of outrage. Pulling her lips back over her teeth, she bent down low to the ground and narrowed her gaze on Jasper.

"Is, please, rela-" He began, only to be cut off by the very creature he had wanted to help.

"I will not relax!" She hissed. With the words out of her lips, she attacked. Lunging at him, she made to strike his middle.

Seeing that, Jasper was quick enough to dodge it kick to his abdomen, but not the kick to his spine. A sharp pain shot up his spine, momentarily paralyzed.

That's just what she needed. In a blind rage, Izzie jumped at him again, this time from above. Using her super natural strength to her advantage, she bunched up her muscles and tensed them. Immediately releasing all force, she shot up into the air. Eyes not wavering for a moment on her targets position, she zoned in as she began to fall. Positioning her leg to kick him in the back of the head, she let her momentum bring her down.

What she didn't realize that at such a position and strength, her momentum would actually be enough to disconnect his head from his shoulders. She was too new to truly know just how much, is more then enough in the vampire world.

Falling faster and faster, she made to hit him hard.

Her foot came into contact with the ground, as her prey moved away at the last second. The crater created by such a force was more then five feet in measurement all the way around. Completely ignoring the damage, she turned towards him.

Seeing the destruction, Jasper stared at it surprised. However, his war instincts wouldn't allow his enemy out of his sight for too long, and once more, his eyes returned to the form of his friend. Shocked butterscotch with pink tints met with an inner turmoil of ruby red as the two's eyes clashed.

"What are you doing!?" cried Jasper, as he rolled into a defense position. "Are you trying to kill me!?" he yelled with an immeasurable hurt slightly noticeable in his voice as it broke.

"Kill you?" Hissed Is, once again low and ready to strike. She began to circle him, though their eyes never lost the others. "And give _you_ something _**I**_ want?" At this, her vision flashed red for a moment and she attacked again, this time at his side.

He let her punch at him so he could grab at her neck. Taking the blow and feeling two of his ribs break, he wrapped his fingers around her neck and flipped her backwards over his head, the whole time almost crying at his own actions.

She hit her back to the ground with a resounding bang- much like that of lightning, which brought forth a groan of pain from her lips.

Back on her feet in an instant, she didn't wait to analyze any opening, she just sprung. "I don't want to kill you Jasper!" she practically cried. "I just want to die! Is that so hard!?" She clawed at his face before his fist hit her stomach. She was forced about half a mile away with the force. Hitting a tree which then paid the price by cracking at the center of the trunk, she was ready to fight again. "Why is everyone so set on keeping from me the only fucking thing I ever wanted!"

At this, Jasper lunged, taking her down. Holding her against the floor with ever fiber of strength in his strength, he yelled into her face, "Maybe we don't want to you to die Isabella! Maybe we love your company! God, maybe we even love having you around! It's not so difficult to understand that we care too much about you to let you die!"

Shaking her head vigorously, Izzie looked more confused as ever. She refused to hear it. She wanted to die in peace. She couldn't do that if it hurt her family. The true family that had always meant so much to her- two individuals excluded. She loved them more then she hated her life, more then she hated herself for falling into a trap with Edward… more then she hated Edward himself.

Her head began to slow in it's movements as she felt a familiar wetness in her eyes that shouldn't be there. Her body didn't make tears, but it did have blood…

Staring up at the man who had become so close to her that she learned the meaning of friendship again, the meaning of trust, as well as safety, she shed red tears. She shed them for her father who she had cost so much trouble, she shed them for the Cullens- most of them anyway- for all the hurt they must have experienced because of her, she shed them for the man above her who has been there through it all. But most of all, she shed them for herself. For all the pain she was forced to experience, all the trouble that had irrupted at her life. She was weak; she couldn't handle life and its problems. Why cause so much trouble when it could all be remedied with one swift chop of the head?

Blood rolling down her cheeks, she stared pleadingly up at Jasper. "Please." She cried, her voice breaking from all the emotions welling up inside of her. There were far too many to sort through, all of which pulling her mind and body in a different direction.

Jasper removed his hand from her throat slowly and brought it to her face. There he cupped her left check, headless of the blood that spread like water onto his palm, and stared at Is in amazement. What a transformation her emotions had made… they were off the charts now that he could feel them. They were too much.

He let out a scream as he was bombarded with emotion after emotion, some of which he had never experienced before. Still, his hold did not relent on the body below his. He held firm, gritting his teeth at the intense pain that sprang into his head, threatening to tear his mind to pieces.

"N-no!' He growled out.

Raw rage flashed into her emotions and so into his. He almost jumped back by the burning it had caused. Was this the anger she felt back in the ward? No... It couldn't be, that was too innocent for what was in her eyes that day… That day… there are no words to describe the simple fury she must have felt.

Seeing what she was doing to him, she felt sympathy, a cooling sensation to Jasper who took it in as much as possible. Then he felt nothing.

Looking down in surprise, he stared at Is, who looked up blankly at him, no emotion showing through. The only indication of what transpired a moment a go was the now slowly drying blood marks on her cheeks.

Unable to stop himself for what ever reason, he leaned down and actually _licked_ the blood off of her other cheek.

Isabella gasped loudly, air flooding into her lungs with a force that would have most likely exploded any humans'. The shock cost her her hold on her emotions and the flood gate opened up once more.

This time it was Jasper's turn to gasp. He did not, however, remove himself from his spot hovering a mere inch or so above her as he silently continued to lap up the blood there, dutifully ignoring the rush of foreign emotions.

The feelings Is was experiencing was on a whole other level then what she was use d to. Negative emotions, sure, it was usual. The rare bland ones, okay, whatever. And even the friendly ones when she and Jasper spent their time talking in her cell- excuse me, _room_. That was all normal. But this… this _lust_ was most definitely not normal.

And sure enough, as Jasper continued, his smooth tongue trailing along her cheek, she felt the coiling of a new desire in her below her stomach.

Unsure of how to react to the new feeling, she grit her teeth and reeled in all her exposed emotions. She was startled slightly when she heard a whimper coming from the vampire. It was quiet, extremely so. She knew that had he not been so closer to her ear, she would not have heard him. As the situation was, that was not the case. She tensed more, confused for the moment.

He enlightened her, whispering a plea in her ears. "Don't…. don't do that. I hate feeling isolated from you Isabella." The words were mumbled against her skin as he moved from her know clean check to her jaw where he preceded to nip at her jaw.

When his teeth made contact with her skin, however lightly, Is jerked away, thankful that his grip had loosened enough for her quick escape.

By the time Jasper blinked, she was already on the other side of the field, curled into a tense defensive position. Even from where he was, he could see her eyes. They were confused and tormented.

Jasper took a moment to shake his head, trying to get his mind to concentrate. Finally somewhat making it back to reality, he focused back in on her and swiftly stood erect. "I'm…" He stopped himself. Would he really apologize? He didn't like making her fell uncomfortable, but was he actually sorry for doing it? No. Not at all. He bit his lip in silent contemplation. What to say?

He looked at her once more. She was staring at him, waiting for some sort of explanation. One that would hopefully help her mind sort out not only his actions, but as a whole everything.

He took an unneeded deep breath and exhaled sharply. Now or never. Truth or lie. Decisions, decisions.

His eyes hardened with resolve. Opening his mouth, he spoke. "I'm… not sorry Is."

Her eyes widened in response, and her body went slack in surprise. It was shocking she didn't fall down. Before she could speak however, he cut her off.

"I'm not sorry for anything I did." He paused. "Wait. No. That's a lie. I am sorry. I'm sorry if I've ever hurt you in any way. I'm sorry if I caused you pain. I'm sorry if my family caused you pain. And more then anything, I'm sorry you had to see what you did between… _them_." He practically spit the word out like bad blood.

"But I'm not sorry for it happening, because it led me to you. I'm not sorry for what it changed you into. You've gotten so much stronger, mind and body after what you experienced. I'm not sorry for breaking you out of the prison, even though it led to more pain. And, I'm most definitely _not_ sorry for changing you." His words were steel, strong against his own ears as well as hers. They beat down his conscious, his negative thoughts, all and any opposing side of them.

In an instant, he appeared in front of her, too soon for her to react in the current state she was in.

He wrapped his arm around her middle, forcing her to him, their body's touching. His other hand came up and grabbed the back of her neck. In that moment, her fear broke into a life threatening defeat. It consumed her and made her already cold body run colder. It froze the blood in her veins. But there was nothing she could do. Her hands were trapped between them and her fear had paralyzed her.

He leaned in and kissed her, forcefully holder her head to his in case she tried to resist.

It was nothing more then a meeting of lips, skin against skin. But to Jasper, there was nothing more sensual in the world then having her against him, them touching in this way- even if it was only on his part.

He did not push, or try to go further. This... this was enough. '_For now_,' his mind supplied. "After what felt like an eternity but what had only truly been a few moment, he reluctantly pulled back, fully intent on finishing what he had to say.

Pulling away slowly, he looked into her eyes, those beautifully ruby red eyes, he said, "And I'm not sorry for what I just did- because, Isabella, I'm in love with you."

* * *

**So, yeah….**

**(I'm afraid to ask, but:) Like? No like?**

**-Hides behind Miyavi and huggles onto Gackt for dear life- Don't let them kill me or eat me alive! –Cries-**

**Gackt: -Pats-**

**Miyavi: -Gives me pocky-**

**Hyde: … It would be your own fault you know…**

**All: -Glares at-**


	11. How Different Life Seems

**So, I was sitting here and I thought, **_'You know, I haven't written in a long time (A FREAKIN YEAR!).' _**I've known this yet, I thought I'd wait until Christmas break so I'm not swamped with work- though I'm not using that as an excuse, I haven't been writing simply because I haven't. It's bad, I know, but I'm not going to lie about it. Hopefully, I can finish this story, and soon. I like it and luckily, I remember… kinda… what I want to happen, so it shouldn't be too hard. Sorry, though, that anyone who liked this story had to wait as long as you have. I really am. **

**Also, lol, I have come to hate Twilight. Funny, ne? ^_^**

**Dude... this took me like... no time at all to write... Damn I feel like shit. Sorry you guys. ^.^''''**

**I'm tired of writing disclaimers. If you want to see it, go back and see it.**

**Onward!**

**BTW, thanks to 999KitKat999 who got me writing again- though I won't say how.**

* * *

Her mind was so full yet so empty. She could comprehend everything that was going on no ,everything that was said, her entire life- it could all be simultaneously thought about, yet she still has so much room for so much more thought.

_'Love? How could anyone love me?'_

She was shocked to say the least. After what seemed like an eternity of their eyes meeting, she blinked once. Then again.

Suddenly, and without warning, Is pushed Jasper away from her and stood up in an instant. She looked away into the distance but made no move to run. She stood in silence as wind gently rushed by her, moving her long hair in all different directions.

* * *

Jasper stayed where he was for a moment in shock before standing too, but not moving closer to her, preferring to give her the false idea of security. He wouldn't let her leave him, not after that. Maybe he had lost his sanity too, but after telling her his feelings and feeling her against him, he wouldn't be letting her out of his sight again. Neither his logic and gentlemanly instincts or his darker carnal desires as a vampire were willing to let her leave him.

It was a long while before she unfroze from her goddess-like statue form and turned her head towards him, her eternal face brilliant in the night's lights. Her eyes were a bright red because of the transformation and his inner vampire purred at the image or pure sexual temptation. Jasper may have been a gentlemen, but the vampire part he had kept hidden and under tight reins most certainly wasn't.

She opened her mouth and spoke, her voice an instrumental sound of musical notes floating in the air between them.

"I won't say anything in return Jasper. I-…" She paused and a look of contemplation consumed her face for a brief second before she continued, "Please don't expect me to." She looked heartbroken, as if speaking those words hurt her as much as they did him.

_'She just doesn't want to hurt me.'_ Still, she had said the truth as it was to her. That was his Is.

He smiled and walked over to her. It probably wasn't the smartest move considering she could still be pissed off at him and she was still a newborn vampire, but he ignored the way his army instincts fought with him to stay away from her, and pulled her into a tight hug. "That's fine. You don't have to. I never expected you to."

_'Though, I hoped.'_

"But I don't regret telling you. I do love you, more than you could ever know." She was still unbelievably tense under his comfortable hold, but he simply help it.

She finally began to relax, most likely forcing her muscle to cooperate, and he still held on. After a few moments, he simply took a deep breath, filling his lungs with her scent. "This is enough," he breathed against her skin as his nose ran along her neck, throwing himself entirely into her smell, memorizing it for every moment here on out. It smelt of cinnamon and lavender, each smell surprisingly independent from the other, but clearly defined. It was intoxicating- more so than her blood ever was. "Gods, you smell amazing Isabella…" He whispered he held her tighter and closer. The pull of his had him at his limits as he couldn't help but lick one straight line from the base of her neck to under her ear. 'She tastes better than she smells,' he thought absently.

He noticed soon after when his clouded mind acknowledged the fact that Isabella let out a gasp and it was instantly followed by an almost inaudible moan.

_'That would be the vampire instincts taking over.'_ He noted without much thought. The same thing was happening to him.

* * *

Isabella's head reeled from her thoughts and the onslaught of sensations from Jasper's close proximity. He was so close and smelt… amazingly good. Like vanilla and chocolate. _'How have I never noticed that before?' _she wondered. Not that it mattered. The little distance between them had her sences completely taken over. Her mind fogged over and as she felt him taking a deep breath at her neck she was forced by an unknown instinct to do the same to him, inhaling his delectable smell. The moment he had licked her, she was shocked but a feeling, deep inside her, liked it very much. It was a darker side she realized she was connected to. _'Was it always there?'_

The thought was soon swept away as a new scent came into the fray. It was new, yet she seemed to instinctively know what it was. It was also in that same instant, that she knew the same scent was coming from her as well.

_Arousal._

She quickly broke from his hold and was suddenly five feet away. Jasper's face showed surprise which quickly shifted to rage at being denied her. She watched in near fear and fascination as he seemed to get his bearing about him and closed his eyes, suddenly burning black. He was obviously battling with himself, with the urge to come after her even as she stepped away. After a moment of tense silence, Jasper's jaw locked tight, fists clenched, he opened his eyes, now a dark crimson color.

Is could actually see the darker side of him fighting to breach the surface. _'How long have you been fighting with yourself Jasper?'_ It wasn't until his eyes widened that she realized she had said it out loud.

The creature inside of the man who loved her had an evil edge that wanted to take over. Jasper himself held onto the restraint he had and battled with it, forcing it down.

Isabella could see the apparent winner, yet a part of her, a foreign part she had no problem merging with, had a problem with who it was. Before Jasper could force his so called evil side away, she took a step forward, simultaneously reaching out as if to stop him. She stopped after a moment, not sure what to do.

His eyes, still red and animalistic flickered to watch her. The intensity in those eyes frightened and excited her. "Don't," She said, taking another step closer still. Her voice was in a whisper now, her eyes wide and focused on him, desperate for some part of him to stay alive. "Don't fight." She paused again and took another step again, followed soon by another until she stood before him, her hand resting on his cheek as she stared intensely into the eyes of a monster. "Don't fight yourself Jasper."

His eyes narrowed, partly angry and partly confused and filled with worry. His voice was raspy and dangerous as he growled out, "You have no idea what I could do Isabella, if I was free."

She didn't even blink or hesitate as she replied, "You already are free. All you need to do is embrace every part of you. Even the darker sides."

She wasn't sure what gave her the right to say it, except that it had to be said. She was a newborn, yet even she had connected to the new and darker side of herself. It was natural, something she didn't regret. It made her who she was. "I know you were keeping part of yourself at bay, the part of you that ran rampant during your years at war. I also know that you kept it hidden from the Cullens so they would accept you, and Alice, who you loved. And now me. But Jasper, you don't have to." She smiled so gently, so encouraging, it looked so out of place on a vampire temptress's face. "I won't judge you, any side of you. Embrace who you are. Embrace yourself fully."

His eyes flickered between the both of hers, looking uncertainly as he tried to search for what she was hiding, or what she was up to.

She had nothing to hide and let him look into her. She removed the blockade between her emotions and let them flow freely into him if he so cared to take them in.

His brows were furrowed as he felt her sincerity. "Can you really risk it?"

She smiled a friendly and innocent smile as she said, "There's nothing to risk. I simply get every part of Jasper, my friend, my hero, and the man who loves me. After all, you can't be those things if you're not complete yourself."

His eyes closed tightly as his hand came up to grasp the one against his face. He grip tightened and he inhaled deeply several times before opening his eyes and staring down at her with a gental smile.

His eyes were a bright red without so much as a flicker on insecurity. She could see the darker sides of himself in his stare and that only made her grin grow larger. "There's the man I've been looking for."

* * *

**So yeah, enjoy it?**

**Lol, I was rereading the story to get back into the feel, and OMGackt, my little A/Ns were SO funny and adorable to me. XD**

**HYDE: How could you forget about us like that!**

**Gackt: HOW!**

**JaeJoong: She's been busy with us. **_-Points behind him where G-Dragon, Onew, Xiah, Lee Min Ho, Jung Yong Hwa, Kim Bum, Lee Jun Ki, Kim Jae Wook, Hiroki Aiba, Kato Ryosuke, Hamao Kyosuke, Sato Takeru, Huang Yi Da, Nakamura Yuichi, Kanata Hongo, Mike He, Koji Seto, Figaro Ceng, Kamenashi Kazuya, Jo In Sung, and many others stand-_

**_G & H: O_O_**

**I've been busy... XP**


	12. Embracing Change

**Chapter 12~! Yay! Actually, I had started writing this yesterday, because as I finished 11, I wanted to write what was on my mind before I forget. Okay, I think this story will be over in one to three more chapters, depending on how I describe certain events.**

**As a side note, I hope to get to 300 reviews sometime by the end. Not that I'm asking, just saying.**

* * *

Jasper had never felt more content in his entire life. Not only content, but complete. Whole. He finally felt, after decades of struggle, as if he was at peace. _'But at what price?'_

Even as he stared at his Isabella, he felt his mind changing, altering with his darker side's point of view on life. He felt himself change as his morals and memories twisted and changed right before his eyes.

"Don't be afraid."

At first, he thought it was temptation whispering the words, his inner vampire already changing him. But he saw Isabella's mouth move and she leaned in to kiss his cheek swiftly. She pulled back an instant later and said, "It's all a part of who you truly are."

"How would you know that?" His voice was deeper, a mix between the darker raspy voice the vampire in him had and the voice he usually had. Aside from the deepness, the sound was also more animalistic- almost as if an unnoticeable growl was added to his words.

"I've already had changes like yours." She smiled sadly with regret before the emotion disappeared and all that was left was elation.

It was true, she had gone through changes of her own before he had gotten to know her. After all, Isabella was the creation of a changed Bella. They were so different; he almost forgot they were one.

"That doesn't mean it's a good change." He closed his eyes with a resigned sigh and nuzzled gently into her hand. It was too late to go back now. Once you accept yourself, its impossible to go and hind it away again.

Suddenly, a delicious smell swarmed his senses and his eyes shot open. He noticed that in the same moment, so did Isabella's.

* * *

Isabella had to admit, she had never had such a reaction to the scent that swam and muddled all her thoughts, except for Jaspers. But this grabbed at her entire body, more precisely, her throat. A fire she hadn't noticed burned to life and tore at the lining, her insides being burned alive with need.

A new idea came and consumed her every thought_. 'Blood. I'm hungry,_ _and I need blood._' In an instant, she ripped her hand from Jasper's loose grasp and made a mad dash towards the prey about six miles north of her location.

She dodged tree after tree, her agile body flowing like water through a river filled with rocks. They seemingly separated to let her through- a good idea, since she doubted they would have any luck in stopping her.

She also head fast footsteps, running actually, since the steps- fast and furious- were so close together they blurred to a near buzz of sound. Her logical mind knew it was Jasper even as her vampiric senses jumped into self-defense, trying to determine this sense. It felt odd feeling and knowing two different things about yourself in one moment, but Isabella attributed it to the fact that she now had so much room in her head, she could hardly do much else.

She knew in the next moment that she wouldn't have to stop in her attack, since she feared nothing from Jasper. 'He won't hurt me.' Still, she did feel slightly uneasy, as if he was going to take her hunt. It made her uncomfortable, but she pulled past it and ran faster, in a way, trying to loose the competition, until she finally reached the border of a clearing. She was hidden well by the few trees surrounding the group, and knew she would have no trouble hiding.

However, a moment later, she was not alone. In a breeze of winter-like chill, Jasper was there, eyes wide and fearful, yet full of enjoyment and mischief. "Is, we have to get out of here." His words were less then a whisper, but clear as a bell to her heightened senses.

She tilted her head to the side, and back an instant later with understanding. She smiled wickedly. "Why?"

He seemed shocked and surprised by her calm behavior, but pushed through it by answering, "You're new to the hunt, to our kind of life. The thirst will make you attack humans, even if you know them. We have to leave."

It was in that moment that Isabella heard their voices. They were familiar in a way that pulled at the strings of her memories. Images rose to the forefront of her mind, darker and less defined as every new moment in her new life.

Mike, Angela, and Jessica.

'_What are they doing so far out here?_' she wondered, the same time as, '_They smell so good. And I'm just_ **so** _hungry_,' entered her mind. Frowning, she momentarily searched herself for second thoughts questioning her actions.

She looked as Jasper and asked, "Who's kind of life? The Cullens?" She pulled her lips back, almost with a sneer, to reveal her perfect and powerful white teeth, sharpened for the occasion. "Or a vampire's?" Her sneer transformed into a truly deadly smile. "I want to know, because Jasper, I have not- for one moment- held myself to the Cullen's diet since my transformation." She paused. "And neither should do."

With that last statement, she was in the clearing in a flash, Jessica's body in her grip. A searing scream pierced the night as Jessica yelled in shock, surprise, and fear. "B-Bella?" She asked, looking up at the girl who had her pinned beneath her.

The entire group, who had suddenly freaked out, came back to Earth at that. _"Bella?"_ asked Mike in disbelief. Angela's eyes were wide with fear and surprise as she stared at the women who had, in the course two years, changed from a shy and uncoordinated teenager, to a women with a dangerous edge who had a threatening atmosphere around her.

Isabella raised her head and smirked evilly, threateningly. "Not any more." And with that, she shifted and sank her fangs into the neck of her once friend.

* * *

Jasper stared after Isabella, at a lost of what to do. But the moment the smell of fresh human blood filled the air, his mind fogged up. Sure, he had tasted Izzie's blood during the transformation, but he had been so overcome with fear and worry that he hadn't savored it. A darker side within him whispered, _'What a shame,'_ into the back of his mind, and instead of fighting it like he always he, he embraced it and gave a small nod in agreement. _'What a shame indeed.'_

The smell surrounded him in its caressing and tempting hands, grasping at his burning throat with an unrelenting grip. _"Drink,"_ it seemingly begged. _**"Drink!"**_

Jasper let out a horrifying growl from deep within his throat as he fought with his body to stay still. Is's words penetrated his thoughts. 'Who's kind of life? The Cullens? Or a vampire's?'

His burning eyes opened and observed the terrified duo, transfixed in their places, as well as beautiful and dangerous Isabella. So perfect in everything she does and is. So unbelievably faithful, innocent, and delectable. And completely his, whether she will believe and accept it or not.

'_She's right.'_ He watched as she gulped down her survival with a grace no newborn should possess. '_I'm a vampire before I'm a Cullen. A family wouldn't have tried to change my behavior, they would accept it. Like Is.' J_asper released a roar that shook the surrounding trees and terrified the two other humans who screamed as they frantically looked around them.

'_Finally, I'm __**free**__,'_ were Jasper's last thoughts as he ran into the field and tackled Mike to the ground without a second's hesitation.

His teeth sank into flesh and a taste that had almost left him took over his mind and senses, driving him on._ 'Oh God, how have I lived so long without this?'_ he wondered as he greedily drank all Mike had to unwillingly offer. _'At least the bastard was good for something,'_ he thought as his food eventually emptied, his blood flowing at a slower rate until there was nothing left.

When Mike was nothing but a shell of organs and tissue, Jasper let go of his death grip on his head and let him drop unceremoniously onto the dank and dirty ground. He was convinced his mind had never been clearer, his reflexes better, his power stronger. He was so content and full of energy, all he could do was let out a deep and dark laugh. God, he had _never_ felt better!

He heard a giggle like wind chimes and piano keys and he turned to see his Isabella holding a limp but not dead Angela in her arms. She was weak from blood loss, but otherwise unharmed.

He swiftly stood to his feet, his hair and eyes wild, a bit of blood still present on his lips.

Isabella only smiled happily, before offering what was left of Angela to Jasper silently. When he stood as close to her as possible since the body was in his way, he rose a curious eyebrow.

She merely grinned and shrugged. "I'm full."

Jasper switched his grasp on the girl with Izzie's, but his eyes, now strikingly different from how they were so many hours ago, never left hers.

Her grin turned mischievous as her free right arm came around to snake behind Jasper's head, using her abnormal strength to swiftly pull him closer. "And I know you want and need this more than I do." She leaned in and in one swipe of her tongue against his lips, the excess blood was gone. She covered her mouth with her hand as she savored the taste, stepping back to allow Jasper room to feed.

Jasper simply stared at her, his crimson eyes alight with a fire in his soul he hadn't felt in decades. His eyes roamed up and down her body momentarily before landing once again on her face. His expression held one of pure carnal desire and Is was hypnotized by it.

With an evil smirk, Jasper leaned in and ripped apart Angela's neck, getting straight to the source of her blood with unneeded savagery. The whole time, his eyes never left hers.

* * *

It would have to be the strongest and oddest way to get turned on that Isabella had ever felt, yet she instantly realized she liked it. It was extremely hot, watching Jasper state intently at her while viciously tearing a victim apart. It showed him how ruthless he could be, how powerful. And she enjoyed every moment of it.

Once he was finished, she watch him drop the body to the ground without an extra thought.

She smiled. "Did you enjoy that?"

He nodded.

Isabella only grinned and turned away before walking over to Jessica's body. After a moment of staring, she reached down grabbed her jacket and jeans. As she rose to go over to Angela, she saw Jasper raise an eyebrow. She laughed but also scoffed. "What?" she asked playfully. "You expect me to go around in this?" She gestured to her wet , ripped, and slightly bloody asylum uniform.

He laughed, but left to give her a moment's privacy. After all, she may enjoy teasing him, but she wasn't ready for what he would do if he saw her naked.

* * *

When Jasper came back a moment later, Is was dressed in faded blue snug jeans that hung low on her hips, revealing the beginnings of her hip bones. Her stomach was flat and the transformation had added some definition, giving her the appearance of eternally being in shape. She wore a black halter-top that stopped an inch or two above her navel. The black jacket was draped over her arm for affect as she would never feel the need to use it.

She stood running her hands through her hair, taming any mess there may have been. When he step foot into the clearing, her eyes zeroed in on him and she smile. Any sign that this was the beast of beauty who had just murdered one and helped murder a second were lost.

Suddenly a thought hit him. The complete and total ridiculousness of it caused him to laugh out loud, unable to control himself?

She was beside him a moment later, her perfectly shaped eyebrow raised in curiosity. "What's s funny?"

"We should figure out what kind of power you have," he said, as he thought back to how she had flung him across the field without even touching him. He grinned. "But when that's done… we should pay a visit to the Cullens."

* * *

**Did you enjoy it? I did. ^^ Anyway, leave a comment? Tell me how I'm doing?**

**HYDE: You forgo-**

**-yells- I DID NOT FORGET YOU! –Jumps on and starts kissing and making out with-**

**Everyone: Hey… how come the whiny one gets the girl…**


	13. Learning the New You

**Thanks to **NewTownGirl** for the constant comments. So sweet! ^_^ And everyone, you're so great for sticking with me all this way- or joining around the end. You are all loved. ^-^**

**And, you're just so sweet **mfaerie32**, thank you. ^^**

**Lol, I may hate the saga now, but, omg, I just watched Eclipse and O_O JASPER! *fans self* Oh boy are you so… delectable- more so now that your hair don't look like shit. XD**

**Also, the movie actually gave me two new plot ideas for new stories- none any of you would expect- much like this story. ^_^ Though if I will actually write them, I don't know.**

**By the way, for those of you questioning Angela's death, it's a progression for Isabella. It represents her moving on from her old life and having no more attachments holding her back. Although I could kill Charlie to achieve the same thing, I've decided to just leave him out of the story.**

**Read on!**

* * *

Isabella ran through the forest with Jasper at her side. She had a large smile on her face, as they raced to what could be an ending or a new beginning.

Jasper held onto her hand and stared at her as they effortlessly weaved in and out of the trees in their way. She caught his eye and turned to face him with a grin. She squeezed his hand lightly before turning back to face front.

He knew she liked him, at least on some level, but she still had some things to overcome before it could progress past the light teasing and bloodlust educed kisses. And he was willing to wait, no matter how long it would take them. But, he hoped this event would be a good start.

~0~

Isabella felt a warm fluttering in her stomach as she ran with Jasper. It had become a constant over the past few weeks of her training.

When her shock had passed at his statement, she had been doubtful. It wasn't as if she was afraid to see the Cullens, it's just that she didn't really want to. They wouldn't accept her and Jasper the way they were. And hell knows what Edward would say. She really didn't want his family to hate her simply because she couldn't stop herself from killing him. But Jasper had convinced her it was a necessary step. "You need to confront the issue so you can move on."

She had only nodded and changed the subject to what he meant about her power. He had to explain to her what she had done to him while in hysterics and she seemed shocked. "Did I hurt you?" she had asked. Of course it had hurt. But it was nothing a vampire couldn't handle.

They had practiced working on and discovering her power for the past three weeks. For a vampire it was a short amount of time, but with no need to sleep and perfect sight in the dark, it was pretty much a constant thing. The only time they had to stop was when they hunted- though sometimes, not even then.

Jasper helped her understand that she was a natural shield- a term classifying the defensive powers. This would explain, he reasoned, how she was always able to block out Edward, Aro, and Jane. It all happened in their minds and hers it seemed, was super protected.

That idea brought up some questions and possible answers for Isabella. For the longest time, she had been wondering why it was that Alice hadn't seen her coming that fateful night, or her decision to tell the entire Cullen clan about their activities. Jasper raised the idea that maybe, deep down, some part of her feared something similar might happen, though not necessarily with Alice. Not being enough for Edward had always been her biggest insecurity.

"Maybe suspecting it, strongly impacted you subconsciously and triggered your shield into overdrive and new developments."

Isabella snorted. "Or maybe your ex-wife was a little distracted."

But after the first realization of their relationship, the shield only grew in power to balance out her mental stability.

Is rolled her eyes and repeated in the same annoyed and teasing voice, "Or maybe your-"

"Yes, yes," Jasper interrupted her with a dismissive wave. "We already understand my ex-wife was a bit preoccupied with my 'brother'."

Isabella only shook her head and snorted again as they continued examining the possibilities. After a few hours of stimulating conversation, they had finally moved onto seeing how far her abilities could go.

He reckoned that it was her shield that protected her from having her emotions read by him, hypothesizing that along with its growth, it had diversified. Because they had his power on hand to test it, they practiced with her hiding and revealing her emotions to him so she could gain an idea of how to contract and use her power. They developed a mental image together to help her grasp the idea of it.

Isabella felt like it was silky molding clay. She could shape the mental shield however she wanted inside herself and neatly remove it a moment later. It was thing, so much so it seemed as if at any moment it would break. But it didn't. No matter how fragile it appeared, it was impenetrable to anyone but her.

A part of her abilities that were more fun to gain control of were the physical aspects. They had discussed in-depth the way it felt to shoot it out of her arm, as she did when she attacked Jasper. It was a building of power, strength almost- tension of a spring, ready to break loose. It had taken days for Isabella to figure out a way to trigger it again. Picturing the surrounding trees as Edward was an amazing way to start off, but after time, she lost the use of that and instead imagined prey or attacking enemies. One can imagine how many times they had to relocate because of the decimation of the forest surrounding them.

Now all she had to do was pull her shield into the pit of her stomach and fire it out in a direction and a burst of invisible force would be thrown. She hadn't yet advanced to a point of not needing her arms and still used them to conduct the power out of her. A benefit though, was that the longer she held the power back, the stronger the burst was.

Her best record so far was half a mile, trees and rocks slowing Jasper down of course. She was sure, had there been a bare area, she could have gotten a mile out of him, easily.

Isabella smiled at the thought and actually let out a laugh.

Jasper eyes her curiously, but she merely shook her head and quickened her pace, pulling a willing Jasper behind.

She really couldn't help but notice just how good of a teacher he was. He was great at teaching everyone how to fight off the newborns, but this was different. And she was still surprised at how easily she seemed to get things with his guidance.

She currently had them both shielded effortlessly as they ran a familiar trail towards the Cullens. Although Alice wouldn't see them coming, they would hear them once they were within a few miles.

They had decided to go on a Tuesday as that was a day the family never went hunting. Jasper knew their schedule better than anyone, having to struggle to live by it more than any other.

The thought angered her and she had to bite back a growl that tried to rip out of her own throat. Jasper squeezed her hand and she glanced sideways at him. She nodded at the silent message and took a deep breath to calm down.

God how she hated people who forced others into becoming what they wanted- why can't they just accept what they cannot change? Is shook her head quickly and released the unnecessary air slowly.

Suddenly, she grinned. "Ready to meet the family Jasper?"

He laughed in response. "Of course! I've never been more happy at the idea of being murdered."

Isabella snickered. "As if they could lay a hand on you."

He grinned, showing his fangs and ruby red eyes.

'_Yes,'_ Is thought, _'human blood does make you better and stronger.'_

They raced past the trees and cars, breaching Cullen territory easily. None of them were outside, but she could hear them inside, shifting tensely, anxious. She knew Jasper had to be feeling it because his grin turned malicious.

His eyes gave away his thoughts. _'Time to have a little fun.'_

The pair finally came to a standstill in front of the house. The clouds hid their shine, but their shadows gave an eerie appearance.

Hands still clasped, Isabella called, "Honey, we're home!"

* * *

**Hope everyone understood the chapter and the transition okay. I felt a little scatterbrained as I wrote this, but I am quite happy with the result, so, here it is.**

**I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be the last, but we'll see.**

**HYDE: -Doesn't comment-**

**Ah, I knew you could train a rock star. -Kisses HYDE and leaves the room with JaeJoong-**

**HYDE: -Gapes-**


	14. Living My New Life

**Yay! New and final chapter to Balancing on the Edge of a Knife! It's not how I pictured the ending, but I think it's okay.**

**Thank you everyone who reviewed. I read each and everyone of your comments. ^_^ I love you all and hope you like this chapter as it IS the last one and the final punch in a story that took FOREVER to conclude since yours truly is a complete procrastinater. Thanks for all your support and hope to see you all in the future in other stories. **

**Speaking of which, you may or may not remember this little thing called Obsessions... -Looks around nervously- Well... there's a poll up for it and for those of you who followed it, if you'd vote, I'd be happy. But as ALWAYS, no promises. I still have NOTHING planned for it so don't get your hopes up.**

**THANK YOU SHINee FOR THE MUSICAL INSPIRATION THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER!**

**Disclaimer: It's my last chapter. I'm not gonna say is. Nope. I'm gonna be happy for my completion and say, BITE ME LEGAL SHIT! XDDDD**

* * *

Alice was the first one to come outside. She appeared on the front porch at a speed faster than lightening to a human's eyes. Isabella sneered at her briefly as a sudden wave of rage crashed over her. Before the next member of the Cullen clan materialized, however, she had cleared her face. _'No point in losing control now, Is,'_ she thought to herself.

With a quick glance at Jasper, she saw her emotions had done him no harm. The time they had spent training had made him stronger. Her random intense waves of rage or excitement rarely affected him anymore.

His raised eyebrow allowed her to know that he had felt it and was 'listening' closely to her emotions. She merely rolled her eyes a miniscule amount, letting him feel her mild annoyance and amusement. The slightest tightening of his hand over hers was indication enough to know he felt it, but his eyes conveyed his amusement.

It had been like this between them since they had decided to stay together and be strong. The two never kept things from one another, needing the closeness their shared secrets gave them. Among those secrets were those of the pleasure they gained from drinking human blood. The mere thought brought a crushing force of pleasure over her.

Isabella barely restrained a shudder that wanted to rip through her. The minutest of twitches from her companion allowed her to know he felt the same thing from her. Her lips tightened over her teeth, her tongue flicking against the extended fangs. Although she had just come from hunting with Jasper, it seemed her body craved more.

At first Jasper seemed concerned over her insatiable desire for blood but later connected it to the rush of endorphins and adrenaline she got from the whole hunting down her prey and the lust that rose when she drank. To put it simply, he had said, _'You're an adrenaline junky and a sex addict.'_

From her escapades with Jake when Edward had left, she knew the first, and the second was only a mild surprise. After all, she had been planning on trying to seduce Edward into bed if he hadn't done _**something**_ other than hug her while they shared her bed. She had replied back with the absent minded comment, _'So I've kept those parts with my transformation. Huh.'_

He had simply laughed at her which caused her to pout playful and him to laugh again. After a few moments of this, she had had to resort to slamming him with a powerful shield and sending him across the field and into a giant tree. _'Watch yourself, Hale,'_ she had replied playfully with a wink before she had run off to get another meal.

She was drawn back to the present when a familiar scent drilled into her mind. _'Edward,'_ came the immediate thought. She nearly gagged. _'I had been attracted to __**that**__!'_ she thought with disgust.

It smelt like a combination of wood polish and a musty scent that she had guessed was his own smell. This time she couldn't hide a grimace. _'Ew.'_ It was nothing like Jasper's scent which always drew her to him. His smell was a unique mix of lavender and rain. His original scent seemed to smell a lot like wind and earth, which had initially surprised her. _'Now __**that's**__ a scent I wouldn't mind dealing with for the rest of eternity.'_

Edward stood behind Alice, close enough to grab, but the distance was obvious. It was as if he didn't want to touch her, but didn't want to make it too obvious. 'What? Tried of the slut already? Poor Eddie boy,' she thought with cruel glee at the same time her mind registered the rest of their audience.

Beside Edward stood Carlisle, an arm around the frantic Esme who seemed so happy to see them. Happy enough to jump them with wigs and kisses. He stance was thin line between nervous and weary. His grasp seemed comforting, but at the same time restrictive. _'A warning. Smart man Carlisle, but the one you need to worry about isn't her, but the boy to your right.'_

Emmett stood in front of his parents like a guard dog, his eyes cautious and stance threatening. Even with that, there was a very obvious part of him that seemed unwilling to actually fight them. His other half, his Rosalie was to his left and seemed still as stone. And as beautiful as ever.

The thought didn't hurt Is like it would have when she was human. No. That inhuman beauty was hers as well now. But unlike Rosalie who seemed to hate herself for her existence, Isabella was living it up, feeling beautiful and confident for the first time in her existence. She felt as if her appearance finally expressed her inner personality- not that she was completely self-centered or anything. It was like finally being able to shed an overly laurge and uncomfortable jacket and be fitted with the best and most comfortable one made especially for her.

Isabella couldn't help it. She smiled at the woman and waved. "Hello Rosalie."

The women tensed at the sound of her name and her eyes looked conflicted. Finally, she said a hesitant and weary, "Hello to you too."

Is grinned this time, revealing her fangs.

Being a vampire allowed everyone on the porch thirty or so feet from them to clearly see the red of her eyes and the paleness of her skin. Yet something about her teeth set them off. At the sight of the elongated teeth, the group seemed to gasp, some in revulsion, shock, and surprise.

Esme's hand came up to cover her mouth in horror as she stared at the girl she thought of as her daughter. She turned to Jasper. "H-how could you? How could you do that to her Jasper?"

Her tone hurt him, Is could clearly see that. She spoke up before he could, successfully drawing the group's attention. "No. No, it was me. I wanted him to change me." _'Even if I didn't realize that it was what I wanted,'_ she added with a dry sense of sarcasm. She continued on without pause, now allowing them to see the lie for what it was. "Jasper changed me on purpose. Don't think that it was an accident caused by the loss of his control."

She grinned and leaned into his chest, elbowing him while she added happily, "Do you know how hard it was for me to get him to let go of his control?" She playfully shook her head and stood straight. "You people did a fine job with him."

Alice took several instant steps forward in shock before she caught herself and stopped dead. Unlike the other members of her family, she and Edward weren't protected by Emmett, and she knew it. "You… You turned him _towards_ human blood!"

Her smile flew off her face in an instant as she stared at Alice. She glared at the girl she once thought was her friend. In a voice menacing enough to sound like a constant snarl, she said, "_Yes_, I 'turned him _towards_ human blood'." She actually growled at her. "It's _your_ fault for making him a completely dependent boy! You knew, God damnit, you _knew_ that he was made for human blood. And you made him change aside from that! How _dare_ you try to change a person to fit your likes! How dare you be so completely selfish and cruel." She voice had dropped by the end of the last sentence. The corner of her lips drew up in a smile as she rose from the attack crouch she hadn't realized she had bent into. "But wait. How could I forget? You are that selfish."

Carlisle stepped forward. "Enough. We don't need to continue. There doesn't need to be a fight here."

She saw Jasper nod out of the corner of her eyes as he reached for her shoulder, pulling her to his side while his touch relaxed her immediately.

Isabella grinned good naturedly at him. "Of course not. How have you been, Carlisle?"

The instant change of atmosphere seemed to be the last straw for Edward whose fists had been clenched the entire encounter as he had stared at Jasper hard. "What is going on!" He asked in an irritated voice.

Isabella lost her friendly demeanor as she sneered at him. "What right do you have to as questions? What right do you have to demand answers?" Her lips pulled back over her teeth as she bared that threateningly at him.

His eyes found hers and his tense stance lost its strain as he appeared to sag against himself. "Bella, I-"

A ferocious snarling sounded across the small distance between the group and the pair. Isabella flung out her left arm as she glared hard at him. Not an instant between the time his mouth uttered her old name and the next, Isabella had flung him straight into the house behind him, the force causing him to crash straight through the outside wall and into a column and a vase to crash underneath his weight.

"Don't you ever called me that again you fucking bastard!" She yelled already charging at him without knowing what she was doing.

That was the only reason, she would convince herself later, that she wasn't aware of the person behind her suddenly spring at her and collide into her, forcing her to the ground with a thundering blast.

She rolled and tried to escape, but he knew her far to well. His grip held strong.

Isabella's eyes saw only bloody red rage and she snarled and aimed to bite him. Distantly she heard but didn't register Alice gasping and hastily saying, "Jasper! What are you doing! Get off her before she hurts you!"

Alice was ignored as Isabella was forced to the ground. "Iz, be calm!" commanded a voice she recognized above all others.

Her muscles bunched as part of her fought to fight off the calming urge he sent her, but against her darker side, her logic won out and she gradually relaxed into his hold.

After several unneeded breaths, she was perfectly fine again and was released. Blowing out an annoyed breath, she stood with the help of his offered help. "Damn you Jasper, can't you ever let me win once?"

There was a choked laugh to her right where she turned and saw Emmett's amused face. She grinned at him and added, "This selfish bastard hasn't let me win a match since he turned me."

The comment seemed to be too much for him as he busted out laughing. It took only a moment before Rosalie rolled her eyes and walked over to Emmett, elbowing him hard in the ribs. "Shut up you big Oaf."

"Aw babe, that hurts." He mumbled rubbing his sore side.

"Things haven't changed that much have they?" She asked Jasper wit ha calm smile. She received a smile in return.

"I s'pose not." He drawled in his country accent as he flung an arm around her shoulders in a casual gesture.

She grinned and turned back to the group. Spotting the hole in the house, she shuffled her feet, feeling for the first time a guilty sense in her stomach since she was put in the institution. Had she been human, she would have blushed. "Um… Sorry about the wall Esme."

"Don't worry about it dear." Her voice was voice of actual care. "He's had that coming for a while now." She seemingly spoke to Carlisle as she said, "We raised him better then that." She shook her head and turned to give the pair a hesitant smile. "Although I do wish the house hadn't dad to suffer too."

Carlisle laughed and the tension seemed to drain from the rest of the party.

Emmett rushed towards them and quickly scooped Isabella up in a once bone crushing hug. She tried her best not to lean in to attack him on his quick approach, and although she succeeded, it was far more difficult not fighting to get out of his hold. She hadn't been touched by anyone but Jasper since she had been turned and the feeling was extremely foreign. Still, she didn't have the urge to kill him and its absence left a blank feeling inside of her. One that the tense and observant Jasper hadn't missed.

His face fell into a confused look of mild amusement. 'I hadn't even known that was possible,' she thought while being swung around in Emmett's arms.

"My little girl's all grown up and kicking vampire ass!" He sniffed as he set her down, ignoring the call of "Emmett! Language!," from Esme. "I'm so proud of you shortie!"

Isabella rolled her eyes, belatedly realizing how easy it was to interact with her once adoptive family- or at least most of them. He smiled and suddenly punched him in the gut, casing him to fly back into a tree. "Yeah, keep that up Emmett and see where you land yourself."

She wasn't sure when Alice had disappeared, but she suddenly came from the debris from the hole in the house, Edward leaning on her for help. His pain filled eyes met hers and Isabella only snorted and rolled her eyes, a sneer on her lips. "Either get the fuck out of my sight, Edward Anthony Mason-Cullen, or I swear, that hit will be the least painful thing you've ever experienced."

When he didn't move, she let out a growl. "Get moving!"

"Please, let's talk about this B-"

"Don't say it Edward," Jasper warned him. "She goes by Isabella now. Say what you were about to, and I know I won't be able to stop her again." He motioned to how Isabella was already in a full on out crouch, her teeth bared with malicious intent.

"Please," His voice was desperate and full of an emotional pain Is was pissed she had to hear.

"Fuck off Edward. Your chance at anything with me was over when you slept with that whore you lean on." Her voice was only a growl as her claw-like nails dug into the ground.

"I- I-'m sorry Be-Isabella!" Alice called, her correction saving her life without even knowing it. "I- _we_, we didn't mean for it to go that far!"

Jasper stepped in front of Isabella's crouch, blocking her view of her enemies. The snarl he got in response didn't phase him even if the windows rattled in their frames. "Don't you get it?" he finally asked. "She doesn't care what the reason is. What you guys did is beyond her forgiveness, and mine. Neither of us have a care for you. Think of this," He motioned to his placement in front of the murderous Isabella, "as a final act for what we had. It's a delayed goodbye."

"Surly you can't mean that Jasper! I love you!" Alice exclaimed, her eyes horrified at the prospect of loosing him forever.

Her only response was a horrible sound from Isabella and a deep, gut busting laugh from Jasper, he head thrown back. When he was finally able to gain control of himself, he smirked at her, he red eyes alight with joy. "Truly? Even when I'm like this? When I've fully given into the darker side of myself that you never let me explore?"

"I- I was only trying to help you." Her voice was soft, lost. "It was tearing you apart."

"No." His voice was firm and without doubt. "It was tearing you apart. So I was the one made to suffer." He sneered briefly at the fleeting memories of them together. "It's over. And I'm free."

Edward rose from leaning against Alice and winced as the pain shot through his spine. "Pl-"

"'Please' won't work Edward." Isabella stood from her crouch and walked to Jasper's side where she linked their hands comfortably. "I still care for my family Edward, the Cullens. But no longer you or your whore. I don't want to upset them, but I won't guarantee that I won't kill you if I ever see you again. This is your last warning."

"Isabella, su-" Carlisle tried to interrupt and defuse the situation.

"No Carlisle. There are no more options, no more possibilities. I hate your son and I'm sorry if that hurts you." She spoke without hesitation, her eyes never leaving the form of her once boyfriend. "But I'm not the innocent child you once knew. I'm not even _sane_." She smiled at the word, tilting her head to the side, an evil grin spread over her lips. "I will hurt him. I like hurting him." At this her grin became darker, more predatory. She even giggled, though the sound was far to dark to actually be considered such.

Jasper was watching her, his eyes trained on her with an almost obsessive light. His Isabella. Such a beauty and such a perfection. Yet such a different creature than the world had ever known. He spoke to Carlisle now. "We're not staying here, so Edward doesn't have to leave. But the warning still stands. I won't fault Iz if she kills Edward because he came after her."

"What do you mean you're not staying!" Cut in both Rose and Esme.

She smiled kindly at his sister and mother. "I know how you guys feel about us- this." He motioned with his free hand to his eyes, his smile never leaving his lips. "And I'm far too happy being me to change for you. Sure, that's selfish, but it's the first time I've allowed myself to be." He grinned. "Besides, Izzy here wants to live somewhere abroad."

Emmett, ever the pervert, called out, "Jasper, man! You mean your with Isabella! Hit that ass!" He got cut off from anything else as Rose slammed him hard across the back of the head. "Shut _**UP**_ Emmett!"

Iz laughed as she finally shifted her gaze from the broken man in front of her to her family. Edward wasn't worth a thought anymore. Her eyes told him silently how little he meant to her- and how serious she truly was.

She smiled at Rosalie. "Don't worry about it Rose. I've always known how Emmett is. After all," She patted Jasper playfully. "Not all men can be a gentlemen like Jasper her." She playfully swept nonexistent lint from his chest as she smiled into his eyes.

She heard Rose snort. "Not all women want a man like Jasper."

"True." She said, turning her gaze to Rose. Her teasing instantly stopped as she stared at the beautiful vampire. "Rose… You've been the sister I didn't know I had. I know we haven't gotten along, but I know what you meant by it all. And… I just want to thank you for being there before we go."

Esme said, "Wait, you're leaving now!"

Jasper nodded. "Yes. We only came here to confront you guys. We had no intention of staying. I felt… I felt that we needed closure before we left. Whether it would be a final goodbye with you kicking us out for living the life of feeding on human, or with you hating us for killing Edward, we needed this." He hugged Is close. "Both of us."

Isabella nodded seriously. "Our plane leaves soon, so we have to get going." He bit her lip in hesitation before stepping forward and pulling the still stunned Rose into a quick hug, followed soon by Esme. She let go before she felt to uncomfortable or before the other could actually grab onto her. She was still a bit uncomfortable with the whole touching thing.

"We'll see you guys again right?" Asked Rose again suddenly. "It's not goodbye forever."

Isabella's eyes met Jasper as they spoke to each other silently though their eyes. After a moment she turned towards Rose with a soft smile, something she didn't know she was truly capable of. "Of course. We'll keep in touch." And went back and joined Jasper. They linked hands and turned towards the wood. Before they made it several step, Isabella turned back around and added, in a way that seemed far more kinder than she knew she had been, "You're always welcome to join the Hale family Rosalie. We're sister's after all," she said, referring to the alleged Hale twin story she had heard while still human. "Bring your husband and parents if you're up for a vacation. They're my family too."

And with that, the two smiling vampires disappeared into the wooden trees surrounding their once home. They knew, without a doubt, that they would never return there- or to the family they once had. But there was always the option of a new family, and a new home to be created.

After all, they had forever. Even if their future was uncertain and balancing on the precarious edge of a knife, they had each other, and that's all they'll ever need.

* * *

**Wow...**

**HYDE: Wow indeed.**

**Gackt: We've been through a lot together- even if SOMEONE forgot we existed for a LONG time there.**

**-Innocent look-**

**JaeJoong: She never forgot about me.**

**Hyun Joong: Or me.**

**Miyavi: -Cries in dispair- We've been replaced! T_T**

**No, no! No you haven't! I'm just expanding my heart. -Kisses cheek- I still love you.**

**All: Good**

**Thanks for reading again! Love and cookies to all!**

**COMPLETED!**

**EverChangingObsessions1973 OUT!**


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